Women are great: they don’t need quotas

I love women. Women are great. I’ve married one, I’ve personally bred one and I’ve got lots who are my friends. And after years of close observation, here’s what I’ve concluded: chicks are definitely the superior species. They’re more intuitive, more versatile, more articulate, more competent. Plus, of course, they have breasts.

Given that all this is so, I really don’t understand why David Cameron feels he needs to impose quota systems on boardrooms. Not for the reasons he gives anyway. I could understand it if he said: “Look, I have no shame, no principles, no moral or ideological core in my blubbery, spineless, Heathite body. My Coalition government is run by Lib Dems, a marketing man and focus groups. And what they all tell me is: “Suck up to the female demographic.” So that’s why I’m saying this crap.”

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Misunderstood Male

Q: What’s the best way to kill a man?

A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack before him – then tell him to pick only one.

Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?

A: Because it helps them remember which end to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women:….

A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need… A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

 Q: How does a man keep his youth?

A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. 

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to ‘instruction manuals’