One morning, a young nun woke up, got out of bed, and dressed for the day ahead. She then left her room and headed downstairs for breakfast.
As she walked down a corridor, she passed two older nuns, one of whom said: “You got out of the wrong side of bed this morning.”
The two older nuns then walked away giggling. The young nun was puzzled by this, but shrugged it off and carried on.
She then passed another older nun who also said: “You got out of the wrong side of bed this morning.” before walking away giggling.
As the young nun continued to make her way down to the dinner hall, she kept on passing her fellow sisters, all of whom made the same: ‘You got out of the wrong side of bed this morning’ comment and walked away laughing.
By the time the young nun got to the dinner hall she was so livid she bumped into the Mother Superior in the doorway.
The Mother Superior was just about to open her mouth to say something before the younger nun cut in, saying: “Don’t tell me, ‘I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning’!”
The Mother Superior shrugged and then said:
“I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to ask, what are you doing with the bishop’s shoes on?”
A man who had spent his whole life at sea visited a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on.
While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn’t know what it was.
Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown, ass-over-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house attending a party.
While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal.
His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what has happened and asks the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good kettle?”
The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re small.”