As he takes the glass of delicious beer and takes a satisfying gulp, the guy glances over at the menu and asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?”
“Certainly sir,” replies the bartender.
“But all that comes to real money.”
“How much money?” inquires the guy.
“Four cents,” he replies.
“Four cents?!” exclaims the guy.
“Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”
The guy asks, “What’s he doing with your wife?”
The bartender replies, “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”
Moses, Jesus, and an old man were enjoying a friendly round of golf together.
Moses stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and landed in the water trap. Moses then parted the water and chipped the ball onto the green.
Jesus stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and landed in the water trap. Jesus just walked onto the water and chipped the ball onto the green.
The old man stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and headed for the water trap. But, just before it fell into the water, a fish jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth.
As the fish was falling back down into the water, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the fish in its claws. The eagle flew over the green where a lightning bolt shot from the sky and barely missed it.
Startled, the eagle dropped the fish.
When the fish hit the ground, the ball popped out of its mouth and rolled into the hole for a hole-in-one.
Jesus then turned to the old man and said:
“Dad, if you don’t stop fooling around, we won’t bring you next time.”
After searching up and down, he could not find any public bathrooms in which he could relieve himself.
So, while no one was looking, he sought a side street where he could privately take care of his impending emergency.