Cheap Flights – (thanks to Annie)

  1. Fred & wife Edna went to the Fair Grounds. Every year Fred would say. Edna I’d like to ride in that airline and every year Edna would say, I know Fred, but airline rides cost ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars. One year Fred and Edna went to the show Fred said, Edna, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airline this year I may never get another chance.”

    Edna replied, “Fred that there airline costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.

    The pilot overheard them and said “Folks. I’ll make you a deal. I will take you both up for a ride, and if you stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.

    Fred and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard, he does all the tricks over again, but still, not a word.

    They landed and the pilot turned to Fred. :By golly. I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.

    Fred replied, “Well I was going to say something when Edna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars!”

Male Blonde Joke – (thanks to Annie)

  1. There was no comment for jokes that I have, but I have one or two: At last a real Male Blonde joke!!!!!

    There were two blonde guys working for the city. One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

    An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, “I appreciate the effort you are putting into your work, but what’s the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again.”

    The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, normally we are a three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today….

Remote Control Gardening

An old farmer writes to his son in prison;

Dear son, this year i wont be able to plant potatoes because i can’t dig the field by myself, i know if you were here, you would help me.

The son writes back; dad don’t even think of digging the field because thats where i buried the money i stole.

The police read the letter and the next day the whole field was dug by police looking for the money but nothing was found.

The following day the son wrote again….

Now plant your potatoes dad.. Its the best I could do from here…

High Flyer

A man and his wife were driving through the country on his way from New York to California.  

Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill it up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump. 

“What can I do for y’all?” asks the attendant. “Fill ‘ER up with high test,” replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he’s looking the car up and down. 

“What kinda car is this?” he asks. “I never seen one like it before.” 

“Well,” responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, “This, my boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille.” 

“What features does it have?” asks the attendant. 

“Well,” says the driver, “It has everything. It’s loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, an 8.8 liter V12 engine.”

“Wow,” says the attendant, “That’s really something!” 

“How much do I owe you for the gasoline?” asks the driver. 

“That’ll be $30.17,” says the attendant. 

The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees. 

“What are those little wooden things?” asks the attendant. 

“That’s what I put my balls on when I drive,” says the driver. 

“Wow,” says the attendant, “Those Cadillac people think of everything!”