Blonde Cop Exams

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.

“This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his PROFILE.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

He quickly adds “…think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm…the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer…wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!”

An E-mail From God

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the mischievous behavior that was going on, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. 

When he returned, he told God, ‘Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not. 

God thought for a moment and said, ‘Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.’ 

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for some time. 

When the angel returned he went to God and said, ‘Yes, it’s true.The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.’ 

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going. 

Do you know what the e-mail said? No?

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn’t get one either!