Weight Loss For Blondes

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” 

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. 

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” 

The blonde nodded… “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” 

“From hunger, you mean?”, asked the doctor.” 


 “No, from skipping.”

Dating Suggestions

It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. 

“Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says. 

“That’s cool,” says Bobby. 

Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. 

Carrie’s father responds, “Why don’t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.” 

Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie’s dad to repeat it. 

“Yeah,” says Carrie’s father, “Carrie really likes to screw; she’d screw all night if we let her!” 

Well, this just made Bobby’s eyes light up, and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. 

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she’s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door. 

About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father: “DARN IT, DADDY! IT’S CALLED THE TWIST!”