That Time of Day

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. 

 “Can you tell me the time, please?” asks a jogger. 

“Yeah, it’s 4:30,” answers the trucker. He falls asleep again, but he is awoken again by another jogger who wants to know the time. 

“It’s 4:40!” yells the trucker. Deciding to really try to sleep a little, he writes on a piece of paper: I DON’T KNOW THE TIME. He sticks the paper in his windshield. 

But he is awoken again. ‘It’s 5:25!” another jogger yells at him. 

Understanding Facebook

To others of my generation who still do not and cannot comprehend why Facebook even exists, here’s what I’m doing to gain better understanding: 

I am trying to make new friends without using Facebook, but while applying the same principles.

Every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.

I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.

I also listen to their conversations, then give them the “thumbs up” and tell them I like them.

And it works!

I already have four people following me:  Two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist. 

Bruce and Jenny

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. 

 One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.
  
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,

Well, Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.” 
 
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin. “Okay, then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Jenny.”
 
Again, Bruce instantly replies, “Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine.”

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.

“Well, Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?” 

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, we’ve been lucky so far.” 

Cheap Flights – (thanks to Annie)

  1. Fred & wife Edna went to the Fair Grounds. Every year Fred would say. Edna I’d like to ride in that airline and every year Edna would say, I know Fred, but airline rides cost ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars. One year Fred and Edna went to the show Fred said, Edna, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airline this year I may never get another chance.”

    Edna replied, “Fred that there airline costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.

    The pilot overheard them and said “Folks. I’ll make you a deal. I will take you both up for a ride, and if you stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.

    Fred and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard, he does all the tricks over again, but still, not a word.

    They landed and the pilot turned to Fred. :By golly. I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.

    Fred replied, “Well I was going to say something when Edna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars!”

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