Holding it in

 A Moscow-based businessman pacing through Washington D.C. Was desperate to take a leak. 

After searching up and down, he could not find any public bathrooms in which he could relieve himself. 

So, while no one was looking, he sought a side street where he could privately take care of his impending emergency. 

But just as he was unzipping, a Washington cop turned up.
“Look here, sir. What do you think you’re doing?” asked the officer.
“I do apologize, sir,” answered the wealthy Muscovite. “But I can’t hold it in any longer.”
“No. You can NOT do that here,” said the officer. “Come with me, sir.”
 
The Police officer led the gentleman into a beautiful garden of bright green freshly mowed lawn, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges.
“Here,” said the officer. “Whiz away!”
The Russian businessman shrugged his shoulders, turned around, unzipped, and began urinating on the flowers.
“Ahhh!” he cried with relief.
 
Then, turning back to the cop, he said:
“That was very nice of you, sir. Is this the famous American courtesy I’ve heard so much about?”
“Hahaha! No…” replied the police officer.
“…This is the Russian Embassy.”

A Fisherman’s Tale

A newly wed fisherman’s wife sees her husband sleeping on the couch. Bored, she decides to take the boat on a ride around the lake. She goes forward a bit, then drops the anchor and reads a book in peace. A short while later, an officer of the coast guard appears and stops besides her.

“Good morning, ma’am, what are you doing?”

“I’m reading a book.” Answered the surprised woman. Couldn’t he see that, she thought.

“I’m afraid this is a no fishing area.” The officer notified her.

“I’m sorry officer but I’m not fishing, I’m clearly reading.”

“Yes but you can start at any second, you have all the right equipment. I’m going to have to take you to the station and fill out a complaint.”

“OK, but if you do that I will have to give my own complaint about you sexually assaulting me!”

“But..” splattered the surprised office, “I never touched you!”

“Yes that’s true,” Replied the woman, “but you can start at any second, you have all the equipment…

Holiday Break

THE NEW CONTENT MAY BE A LITTLE SPARSE FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS DUE TO HOLIDAYS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT.

OYIA BROWN