About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

Alternative Views

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. 

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks: “What does two plus two equal?” 

The mathematician replies: “Four.” The interviewer asks: “Four, exactly?” 

The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says: “Yes, four, exactly.” 

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question. 

“What does two plus two equal?” 

The accountant says: “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.” 

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question. 

“What does two plus two equal?” 

The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, leans close to the interviewer and whispers: “What do you want it to equal?”

Paris Conference in Paris and Inevitable Challenges

Beyond the Cusp

Tomorrow, Sunday January 15, 2017, will be a date that will start the cause of infamy when seventy nations convene in Paris, France to craft the future war in the Middle East. The organizers of this confab have already met with Mahmoud Abbas and his terrorist supporters and carefully created the closest they dare go in granting the Arab Palestinian Authority their wildest desires, the end of Israel. They will give the Arab world the one item they have hoped for ever since they fought the June 5 – 10, 1967, Six Day War; a redo from the original borders. The seventy nations will include the United States which will be represented by President Short Term Barack Obama’s puppet and lackey, Secretary of State Kerry who was instrumental in meeting with Abbas in Nablus to craft the finalization of the formation of a new Arab nation named Palestine cut from…

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Shari’a Law Meets the Internet

The UK has for several years faced problems with its growing number of shari’a councils (often misleadingly called courts). These councils operate outside British law, yet frequently give rulings on matters such as divorce, child custody, inheritance and more, which are based on Islamic law and in contradiction of the rights of individuals (usually women) under UK legislation. Many Muslim communities in cities such as Bradford, Birmingham, Luton, or boroughs such as Tower Hamlets in London are both sizeable and close-knit; individuals in them are made to live lives in accordance with Pakistani, Bangladeshi and Islamic traditional norms. This means that contact with British life at large is often restricted, with a lack of assimilation that traps many women and girls into lives very close to the lives of their sisters in Muslim countries.

Much of the concern about the “courts” has been expressed by Baroness Caroline Cox, whose bill to limit their impact on Muslim women has passed more than once through the House of Lords and, recently, into the House of Commons. Her personal determination and clear-sightedness have meant that the matter has remained for several years a focus for debate in politics and the media. Her arguments have received widespread support from women’s rights organizations, especially several concerned with the rights of Muslim women.

This year, in addition, two important academic studies of the issue have appeared. First was Machteld Zee’s “Choosing Sharia?: Multiculturalism, Islamic Fundamentalism & Sharia Councils,” which appeared in January. Zee is a Dutch political and legal scholar who carried out research in the UK, where she was given limited access to two shari’a councils, one in Birmingham and one in London. Her book devotes much time to the problems of what she calls “Essentialist Multiculturalism,” specifically the way multiculturalist theorists condemn individuals to be treated according to the culture and religion to which they belong, rather than as people who may wish to reject one or both of these.

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Senior State Department Correspondent Says Paris Peace Conference ‘Marks End to Obama’s Failed Mideast Diplomacy’

Ahead of the Mideast peace summit held in Paris on Sunday, Associated Press correspondent Matthew Lee, known for his piercing questions at State Department briefings, indicated that the gathering of world representatives in the French capital would be the culmination of the “Obama administration’s eight years of unsuccessful Israeli-Palestinian diplomacy.”

Analyzing the reason for US participation in the conference, which he said “isn’t expected to produce any tangible progress,” Lee wrote:

At a time when President-elect Donald Trump’s administration is promising a fundamental shift toward Israel, the State Department said Kerry was only participating in the French-hosted event to ensure America’s interest in a two-state solution to the conflict is preserved. The blunt statement reinforced the dwindling hopes for a diplomatic breakthrough.

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The Dragon of Islamic Terrorism

“The worst part of the dragon is in the tail.” You do not have to know what it means; it gives off a spooky authority. This thought was written by Guillermo Cabrera Infante, the great Cuban writer who knew something about dragons’ tails: he had confronted Fidel Castro and lived to tell about it. While on a diplomatic mission to Brussels in 1965, he denounced Castro, abandoned his post and lived out a life of exile in London until his death in 2005. He never went back.

For a minute, let us call the dragon Islamic Terror (we shall get back later to the tail). There is much about the dragon we do not know: where he lives exactly, his vulnerabilities, his comings and goings, his next attacks, his feeding schedule. We do know that he foments terror and inspires fear. From the front part of the dragon, his snout, emerges a tongue flick — tasting the air, sensing out fresh victims. His first major tongue-dart at the West was the death threat — a fatwa with a bounty issued in 1989 by Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khomeini — on Salman Rushdie, a citizen of Britain citizen, for his novel, The Satanic Verses.

What the dragon learned with that initial thrust! The West was so genteel. The United Nations issued condemnations on — paper! Diplomats wrote scare-letters. Politicians said harrumph.

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Obama’s transparent presidency

A mere week remains of Obama’s tenure in office.

But Obama remains intent on carrying on as if he will never leave power. He has pledged to continue to implement his goals for the next week and then to serve as the most outspoken ex-president in US history.

In all of Obama’s recent appearances, his message is one of vindication. I came. I succeeded. I will continue to succeed. I represent the good people, the people of tomorrow. My opponents represent the Manichean, backward past. We will fight them forever and we will prevail.

Tuesday Obama gave his final interview to the Israeli media to Ilana Dayan from Channel 2’s Uvda news magazine. Dayan usually tries to come off as an intellectual. On Tuesday’s show, she cast aside professionalism however, and succumbed to her inner teenybopper. Among her other questions, she asked Obama the secret to his preternatural ability to touch people’s souls.

The only significant exchange in their conversation came when Dayan asked Obama about the speech he gave on June 4, 2009, in Cairo. Does he still stand by all the things he said in that speech? Would he give that speech again today, given all that has since happened in the region, she asked.

Absolutely, Obama responded.

The speech, he insisted was “aspirational” rather than programmatic. And the aspirations that he expressed in that address were correct.

If Dayan had been able to put aside her hero worship for a moment, she would have stopped Obama right then and there. His claim was preposterous.

But, given her decision to expose herself as a slobbering groupie, Dayan let it slide.

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“Palestine” – The perils in pictures

If a Palestinian state is established, it will be armed to the teeth. Within it there will be bases of the most  extreme terrorist forces, equipped with anti-tank and anti-aircraft shoulder-launched rockets, which will endanger not only random passers-by, but every airplane and helicopter taking off in the  skies of Israel and every vehicle traveling along the major traffic routes in the coastal plain…[T]he frontiers  of the Palestinian state will constitute an excellent staging point for mobile forces to mount attacks on  infrastructure installations vital for Israel’s existence, to impede the freedom of action of the Israeli  air-force in the skies over Israel, and to cause bloodshed among the population…in areas adjacent to the  frontier-line… – Shimon Peres, “Tomorrow is Now” (Keter publishers),  pp. 232, 255.

Israel, small and exposed, will neither be able to exist nor to prosper if its urban centers, its vulnerable airport and its narrow winding roads, are shelled.  This is the fundamental difference between them and us, this is the terrible danger involved in the establishment of a third independent sovereign state between us and the Jordan River.Amnon Rubinstein, ‘The Pitfall of a Third State’, Haaretz, Aug 8, 1976.

These two citations encapsulate, with chilling accuracy, the deadly dangers to which Israel would be exposed if a Palestinian state were to be established on the commanding hills overlooking the country’s heavily populated coastal plain, in which about 80% of the country’s civilian population and commercial activity, are located.

As the upcoming Paris conference, designed to foist a two-state reality on Israel, draws closer, it is vital that the public, both in Israel and abroad, understand just how precarious Israel’s situation is liable to be if such a perilous prescription be adopted. These dire dangers are graphically conveyed by the following series of photographs taken from sites inside the territory designated for any future Palestinian state. They demonstrate dramatically how vulnerable and exposed Israel would appear through the binoculars of a Palestinian “intelligence officer” (a.k.a. terrorist).

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