About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

The Time To Laugh

We all become a little concerned as we begin to approach the half-way point in our lives. The truth is that it’s a reality everyone must experience, so we might as well look at it with a good sense of humor!

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half-full – of course, the bad news is that it won’t be long before your teeth are floating in it…

Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, they have wingspans… They are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, they are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.

Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves… and that you’re now sitting on your biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream: “Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will too!”

Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself, and your chins follow suit.

You become more reflective in mid-life. You start pondering the “big” questions – What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?

What Life Looks Like After the World’s Most Extensive Face Transplant

Fifteen years ago, Patrick Hardison, then a 27-year old volunteer firefighter in Senatobia, Miss., suffered a massive burn injury to his face when he ran into a burning house and the ceiling collapsed. He lost his ears, lips, eyelids and most of his nose. Hardison made history in 2015 when he became the recipient of the most extensive face transplant ever. His surgery is part of an innovative and controversial shift in the field of organ transplantation, documented in the Sept. 5 issue of TIME. People are now getting transplants of organs that may not save their lives, like a heart, but can dramatically improve them, like a new face.

Before his face transplant, Hardison grew depressed, lost his tire-selling business, became addicted to painkillers and split with his wife of 10 years. He went under the knife 71 times to improve the look and function of his face, yet almost always hid behind a baseball cap and sunglasses. When his doctor told him that his lack of eyelids was destroying his sight, that was the last straw. “I hated life,” Hardison says.

Last August, Hardison underwent a 26-hour surgery to replace his face with that of a 26-year-old bike mechanic who’d been killed in a cycling accident. Though there had been 37 face transplants since the first was performed in France in 2005, Hardison’s was by far the most extensive. Dr. Eduardo D. Rodriguez, head of the NYU Langone Medical Center face-transplant program, told Hardison he had only a 50% chance of surviving the procedure, since no one had successfully transplanted as much face and scalp tissue before.

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The Greatest Threat is Israel, Right?

Beyond the Cusp

Maybe the greatest threat is Israel when considering it is at the base of numerous problems according to some reports. This problem is the lack of peace between Israel and the Palestinians and Israel being at odds with so many of their neighbors in the Middle East and into Northern Africa. Further, there exists animosity between Israel and much of Europe and numerous NGO’s and the source of protests around the world. Judging from the noise from the echo chambers due to complaints accusing Israel, perhaps we have a real problem which requires intervention to force peace on Israel and her neighbors as well as the Palestinians. So, let us look at the situation with Israel and analyze exactly how the world can solve all the aspects of these problems. Shall we proceed to examine the lack of peace and what can be done?

One nation which Israel still has…

View original post 2,854 more words

Could Italy Bring Down the Euro?

The eurosceptic Five Star Movement (M5S) has overtaken Prime Minister Matteo Renzi’s Democratic Party (PD) in several opinion polls and is now the most popular political party in Italy.

The poll results represent a significant shift in Italy’s political landscape and have potentially far-reaching implications for the future of the European Union.

M5S, which would win national elections if they were held today, has called for a referendum on whether Italy, which is facing the collapse of its banking system, should keep the euro, the single currency of the European Union, or bring back the Italian lira.

A move by Italy — the third-largest economy in the eurozone — to abandon the euro could strike a potentially fatal blow to the currency and to the bloc itself.

An Ipsos poll, published by the newspaper Corriere della Sera on July 5, gave M5S 30.6% of the vote, up from 28.9% in April, while Renzi’s center-left PD fell to 29.8% from 31.1%.

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Up to 75 Kurds said killed in Turkish bombardment in Syria

BEIRUT, Lebanon (AFP) — Turkish shelling and airstrikes killed at least 40 Syrians on Sunday, a monitor said, in the first significant civilian casualties in Turkey’s intensifying campaign in northern Syria.

Turkey’s state-run Anadolu news agency said the army had killed 25 Kurdish “terrorists” in airstrikes as part of its unprecedented operation inside Syria.

The bombardments came after Ankara suffered its first military fatality since it launched the two-pronged offensive against the Islamic State group and Syrian Kurdish militia inside Syria on Wednesday.

At least 20 civilians were killed and 50 wounded in Turkish artillery fire and airstrikes on the village of Jeb el-Kussa early on Sunday, the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights monitoring group said.

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