Three Old Biddies

Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. One of the old Grandmas yelled out, ‘Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!’

The old man said, ‘There is no way you can guess my age!

One of the Grandmas said, ‘Sure we can! Just drop your pants and we can tell your exact age.’

Embarrassed, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and then jump up and down several times. Determined to prove them wrong, he did it. Then they all said in unison, ‘You’re 87 years Old!’

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, ‘How in the world did you guess my age?’

Slapping their knees, high fiving and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily crowed…..

‘We were at your birthday party yesterday.’

Sex Matters

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Are the differences between men and women biological or socially constructed? What do women want from a relationship? What do men want? Are they the same? Or are they much different? Sean McDowell, Associate Professor of Theology and Philosophy at Biola University sorts it all out in this eye-opening video.

via Sex Matters

Complicated Relationships

To: The Social Security Commissioner

Dear Commissioner,

My name is David Jackson and I live on Second Street. I would like to present before you the following story:

‘Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father came to visit a number of times, and suddenly he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization.

As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law. My father’s wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter’s wife. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.

All at once, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father’s wife. Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife’s grandchild. A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father’s brother-in-law, the step-son of my father’s wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step-mother’s brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.

In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following: Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father’s son-in-law, and my step-mother’s brother fulfill the requirements for receiving childcare benefits?

Sincerely yours,

David Jackson

Holding it in

 A Moscow-based businessman pacing through Washington D.C. Was desperate to take a leak. 

After searching up and down, he could not find any public bathrooms in which he could relieve himself. 

So, while no one was looking, he sought a side street where he could privately take care of his impending emergency. 

But just as he was unzipping, a Washington cop turned up.
“Look here, sir. What do you think you’re doing?” asked the officer.
“I do apologize, sir,” answered the wealthy Muscovite. “But I can’t hold it in any longer.”
“No. You can NOT do that here,” said the officer. “Come with me, sir.”
 
The Police officer led the gentleman into a beautiful garden of bright green freshly mowed lawn, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges.
“Here,” said the officer. “Whiz away!”
The Russian businessman shrugged his shoulders, turned around, unzipped, and began urinating on the flowers.
“Ahhh!” he cried with relief.
 
Then, turning back to the cop, he said:
“That was very nice of you, sir. Is this the famous American courtesy I’ve heard so much about?”
“Hahaha! No…” replied the police officer.
“…This is the Russian Embassy.”

Jews Call for Synagogue on Temple Mount in Response to Muslim Takeover

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A confrontation between the Israeli police and the Palestinians is expected as more politicians are calling for the closure of a prayer area that was opened in the area of the Sha’ar HaRachamim (the Gate of Mercy, also known as the Golden Gate).

The area was closed 16 years ago by court order after it was used as a meeting place for Hamas-related organizations. Last Friday, Arabs began protesting and broke the lock, entering the site.

via Jews Call for Synagogue on Temple Mount in Response to Muslim Takeover

Jerusalem Chief Rabbis Argue While Muslims Retake Temple Mount

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A careful retrospective of current events reveals an interesting sequence: The Chief Rabbis of Jerusalem issued a ruling that prohibits Jews from ascending the Temple and one week later, the Palestinians stormed the Sha’ar HaRachamim (the Gate of Mercy, also known as the Golden Gate), an area that had been closed off to Jews and Muslims alike for 16 years.

“To our brothers, all of Israel, lovers of Jerusalem, and those who long for the Temple

Lately, there has been an increase in the phenomenon of Jews entering the area of the Temple Mount. This has led to great obstacles and impinges upon the sanctity of the site. The chief rabbis in their time and among them some of the giants in Torah, Rabbi Avraham Isaac Kook, Rabbi Yitzchak Nissim, and the rabbis of Jerusalem in their time, Rabbi Shmuel Salant, Rabbi Tzvi Pesach Frank, Rabbi Betzalel Zolty, Rabbi Shalom Mashash, and Rabbi Yitzchak Kolitz, always warned the public against ascending the Temple Mount and from touching its edges.

We are now joining those who came before us, the rabbis of the holy city of Jerusalem, in warning the public from entering the area of the Temple Mount.

via Jerusalem Chief Rabbis Argue While Muslims Retake Temple Mount

Why Won’t the British Left Pick on Someone Else?

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The 2018 annual conference of Britain’s Labour Party proved that, however strong the criticism, and however embarrassing the scandal, there are many in England who will get on with their top priority: slandering and libelling one of the world’s most outstanding countries, Israel. At the same time, they seem never to tire of singing the praises of the Palestinians, regardless of the savagery with which they govern their own people.

They also seem comfortable overlooking the Palestinians’ repeated rejections of peace, and their glorifying and funding non-stop terrorism.

The oddity of this approach generally escapes the mainstream media or is amplified by them, and is proliferated across all sorts of social media such as Twitter, and anti-Zionist blogs, websites, and YouTube channels, where it often merges with Holocaust denial, on sites such as Facebook, neo-Nazi rants, Muslim anti-Zionist pages, and speeches by Muslim preachers who choose to live on the dark side of their faith.

The question, of course, is “Why Israel?” Are there not enough dictatorships and oppressive regimes in the world to keep any decent socialist busy on a hundred other fronts?

Not long after that Labour Party conference, your humble correspondent attended a smaller event in Newcastle upon Tyne on October 3, 2018, where a local Labour MP, Catherine McKinnell, addressed a packed hall to apologize for the blatant anti-Semitism in her party. It has to be said that McKinnell herself had nothing to apologize for. She is not Jewish, but she was among the hundreds of people protesting anti-Semitism in the Labour Party outside the Houses of Parliament on March 26 earlier this year. The protest brought home to many observers the simple truth that Jews were profoundly worried, if not afraid, to see a resurgence of anti-Jewish activity in the political party for which they had mainly voted all their lives.

via Why Won’t the British Left Pick on Someone Else?

Break the Parents Circle of Anti-Israel Hate (Part I)

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The views of the Israeli Parents Circle—Families Forum (PCFF) are “deeply repugnant,” the Australian-Israeli Arnold Roth has written, whose daughter died in the infamous 2001 Hamas terrorist attack on a downtown Jerusalem pizzeria. Such context is critical in evaluating anti-Israel PCFF spokespersons like Robi Damelin, who recently appeared at a February 14 Foundation for Middle East Peace event at Washington, DC’s Middle East Institute (MEI).

Howard Sumka from PCFF’s American affiliate introduced Damelin as a “moral authority” on Israel’s conflicts with its Arab neighbors and a “world traveler who takes her message all over the place.” She lost her son David to a Fatah sniper at an Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) West Bank checkpoint during a March 2002 shooting. During a month that saw a Palestinian terrorist violence wave, the sniper killed seven IDF soldiers, including their commander David and a beloved volunteer paramedic who offered aid, along with three civilians.

While Damelin and PCFF have won prestigious awards and praise from Democratic congressmen, the British-Israeli terrorism victim Kay Wilson adamantly rejects Damelin’s conceit as a “moral High Priestess.” Wilson’s own “moral authority” derives from narrowly surviving a brutal 2010 knife assault by two Palestinian terrorists that killed her fellow female hiker in a Jerusalem woods. Damelin’s “overused cliché” of “cycle of violence” leaves Wilson cold, an example of what Israel’s NGO Monitor assesses as PCFF’s consistent “immoral equivalence between terror victims and terrorists.”

via Break the Parents Circle of Anti-Israel Hate (Part I)