One Liners

 I dialed a number and got the following recording:
“I am not available right now, but

Thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the

Beep. If I do not return your call,

You are one of the changes.”


 A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus,” send me a brother.”

Santa wrote back, “SEND ME YOUR MOTHER.”


 What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress.

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?*

Stress is when wife is pregnant,*

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*

And Panic is when both are pregnant.*


A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,

“Are all these kids yours?”*

The man replies, “No, I work in a condom factory and these

Are customer complaints”.


A young boy asks his Dad, “What is the difference between

Confident and confidential?”*

Dad says, “You are my son, I’m confident about that.

Your friend over there, is also my son, that’s confidential.”


Nominated as the best short joke this year…

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

Mom” he asked, “are these my brains?”

“Not yet,” she replied.


This entry was posted in Humor, Humour, Jokes by OyiaBrown. Bookmark the permalink.

About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

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