As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway his car phone rang.
Answering he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him:
“Vernon, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!”
“Hell” said Vernon”It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleepbut the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across held her hand for a second then tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.”
Mildly irritated he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my neck.”
Angrily he threw back the sheets and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”