Two elderly ladies have been friends for many decades. Over the years they partook in many activities and adventures together and lately their activities have been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day when they were playing cards one looked at the other and said: “Now don’t get mad at me – I know we’ve been friends for a long time but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her. And for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, “how soon do you need to know?”
DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTRE
80-year old Bessie bursts into the recreation room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,”anyone who can guess what’s in my hand can have sex with me tonight!”
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “an elephant?”
Bessie thinks a minute and says, “close enough!”