Guam: Life on the Island Caught Between Trump and Kim

The drive from Guam’s capital Hagatña to its hotel-studded tourist strip Tumon took 14 minutes 37 seconds in light traffic on a recent Monday . From Tumon’s military bars— Porky’s, Cowboy Ninja, Shamrock—due north along Marine Corps Drive, it takes another 14 minutes to reach the perimeter of Andersen Air Force Base, where B-1B bombers squat along the flight line. It also takes 14 minutes to barbecue a mackerel (seven for each side) for the local dish kelaguen, and about the same to make a transaction at the drive-thru of First Hawaiian Bank (at Bank of Guam, locals joke, it takes 40.)

Time, usually a slippery measure of island life, has taken on a chilling exactitude on Guam. The front-page headline of a recent edition of the Pacific Daily News read “14 Minutes.” That, the article explained, was how long it would take for four missiles launched from North Korea to travel the 2,100 miles to the western Pacific Ocean waters where the U.S. territory lies, and create what the hermit nation’s leader Kim Jong Un described as an “enveloping fire.”A few paragraphs down, a Guam Homeland Security official assured residents that should Kim pull the trigger, they would be “immediately notified by the 15 All-Hazards Alert Warning System sirens, located in low-lying areas throughout the island.”

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About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

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