A High Tech Vet

A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

joke vetThe vet sighed, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with an old dog. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

joke vet

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry,  but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!?”

The vet shrugged. I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.” 

The Gaza Ploy

Beyond the Cusp

Do you want to hear something absolutely ludicrous, that is if you have not already heard? The Gaza electricity crisis has little if anything to do with Israel and is all Mahmoud Abbas’s doing. You see Abbas, head of the PLO, the Palestinian Authority (PA) and Fatah party, wants to get Gaza back. He wants to reunify the two halves of the Arab Palestinian territories so badly that he has created a crisis for Hamas. Hamas is his terror rival which he would just love to put out of business and take over their Gaza franchise and run it from the safety of Ramallah. Why, you may ask, is Ramallah safe for him and Gaza would not be safe? Well, that is because in Ramallah when he has a problem with people trying to assassinate him, he simply relies on the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) to protect him. He would…

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‘Professional Therapist’ Dr. Katz Is Back

Do you remember the adage, “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor?” Well, for me, it’s finally coming true—again. And if you were a devotee of Dr. Jonathan Katz, TV’s animated professional therapist to-the-stars, you should be thrilled too because he’s seeing patients once again!

The Peabody Award-winning cartoon is not being resurrected on its signature SquiggleVision, the crude but ingenious animation software designed by the show’s writer and creator, Tom Snyder. Instead, fans will now be able catch up with the doctor and his star-studded clientele (Ray Romano, Sarah Silverman, e.g.) on Audible, where the show is currently making a 15-episode return—as a podcast.

During its seven-year run on Comedy Central, Dr. Katz executed one of the best Jewish comedies of all time, featuring the eponymous Jonathan Katz as a delightfully soft-spoken psychotherapist, Laura Silverman as his eye-rolling receptionist, and H. Jon Benjamin (now of Archer and Bob’s Burgers fame) as his loafing but loving adult son. Nearly every scene takes place between these three hilarious Jewish principals, or between Katz and his professional comedian patients, who deliver their stand-up routines from the sofa.

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Google’s YouTube – Soap Box for Terrorists

In mid-March this year, major companies began withdrawing or reducing advertising from Google Inc., the owner of YouTube, for allowing their brand names to pop up alongside videos promoting jihad, a new report released on June 15 by the Middle East Research Media Institute (MEMRI) reveals.

According to the report — which documents the failure of Google to remove jihadi content that MEMRI volunteered to assist in flagging — thus far, AT&T, Verizon, Johnson & Johnson, Enterprise Holdings and GSK are among the companies pulling their ads from the platform. Google responded by promising to be more aggressive in ensuring brand safety of ad placements.

Then came the Westminster attack. On March 22, 2017, Khalid Masood rammed his car into pedestrians — killing four people and wounding dozens of others – then stabbed an unarmed police officer to death.

Exactly two months later, on May 22, Salman Ramadan Abedi detonated a shrapnel-laden homemade bomb at the Manchester Arena, after a concert by American singer Ariana Grande. The blast killed 22 people and wounded more than 100 others.

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