“If I’d stayed, I could have protected him. That’s what I believed. Maybe he believed that, too.”
“I only want to know if you’re happy and well.”
]That was the phone message I left for the brother I hadn’t seen in forty-five years. My voice was shaking as I added, “I hope you’ll return my call.”
I’d woken that morning from the old dream:
I run in a circle in a wooded place. Run with the others, yoked together, lumbering in darkness, moving faster and faster, circling, stumbling, and driven, flying around and around in an endless loop. A monster slithers alongside, chasing us. Body of a snake with the head of a bear, roaring and raging with remorse and loss, remembrance and longing and fear—sheer animal terror.
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