What’s With The Ostrich?

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. 

As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. 

The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?” 

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich. 

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $6.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. 

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and the ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” 

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. 

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. 

“The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, it is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad,” says the man. “Same for me,” says the ostrich. 

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, “That will be $12.62.”Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. 

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. 

“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?” 

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.” 

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!” 

 

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man. 

The waitress asks, “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?” 

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

Tooth Of The Day

allaboutlemon-All Around, In, And Out Of My Own Universe

Meditation

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“Photography is an immediate reaction, drawing is a meditation.”

Henri Cartier-Bresson

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“This is love: the flowering of love is meditation. ”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

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“Meditation makes the entire nervous system go into a field of coherence.”

Deepak Chopra

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“Meditation is the soul’s perspective glass.”

Owen Feltham 

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“Practice meditation regularly. Meditation leads to eternal bliss. Therefore meditate, meditate.”

Swami Sivananda

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“Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.”

Jeremy Taylor

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“Meditation is a vital practice to access conscious contact with your highest self.?

Wayne Dyer

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“Meditation is a way for nourishing and blossoming the divinity within you.”

Amit Ray, Meditation: Insights and Inspirations

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“Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or
Pure consciousness without objectification,
knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity.”

Voltaire

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“You exist in time, but you belong to
eternity- You…

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John Pilger in the Guardian: “Killing children seems like sport for the IDF”

John Pilger is an Australian-based Guardiancontributor who’s arguably one of the most vociferous demonizers of the Jewish state given a platform in the mainstream media.  He’s suggested that Hezbollah represented “humanity at its noblest”, approvingly cited the arguments of Gilad Atzmon, has suggested that ‘influential’ Jews around the world are culpable in ‘Israeli crimes’ and has likened Israel’s treatment of the Palestinians to the Nazi’s treatment of the Jews.

According to Pilger “the Zionist state remains the cause of more regional grievance and sheer terror than all the Muslim states combined.” 

Yet, despite Pilger’s record of extremism and antisemitism, Guardian editors saw fit to offer readers a live ‘web chat’ with him earlier in the year.

During the web chat (published in Feb. 2016, but which we only recently became aware of), he offered the following “analysis” in response to a question about the putatively high number of Palestinian children killed…

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Laughter the best medicine – The Archives revisited – Navy, Marines and Hypnotised Seniors – Oops.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

It is Friday and it has been a faily serious week so thought I would lighten things up with a visit to the archives.. I also thought I would share a discerning cat who disagrees with the purchase of economy toilet paper for the family.

A sailor, an airman, several marines, a genie and a hypnotist walked into a blog!

Overseas posting

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

“My love,” he wrote, “we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and there’s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we’re constantly surrounded…

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Palestinians: Preparing Their People for Statehood?

Palestinian Authority (PA) President Mahmoud Abbas’s ruling Fatah faction is supposed to be preparing its people for statehood. But it seems to be busy with other business.

According to sources in the Gaza Strip, Hamas security forces recently uncovered a scheme to assassinate a number of senior Fatah officials living there.

The sources claimed that ousted Fatah operative Mohamed Dahlan, who has been living in the United Arab Emirates for the past five years, was the mastermind of the alleged scheme. Dahlan’s men in the Gaza Strip were planning to assassinate Fatah officials closely associated with his rival, Abbas, the sources revealed.

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Weeds in the MENA Garden

Beyond the Cusp

If one were to ask the European Union, the United States, the United Nations and the world media who is responsible for the unrest throughout the Middle East and North Africa (MENA) the resounding echoes would continue to scream Israel for likely the rest of eternity, but is that an honest assessment or simply a knee jerk automatic programed response spurred by anti-Israel, anti-Zionist, anti-Semitic hatreds? The easiest way to tell would be to take a quick whirl around the MENA nations and see what the truth is. Let us start our excursion at the western edge and head to the east and see what we will see.

A map of MENA nations is almost up to date and is only missing the Sudan, and as the Sudan was split after years of tribal and religious violence, South Sudan; and some go so far as to include Turkey, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Djibouti, Eretria, and Somalia. A map of MENA nations is almost up to date and is only missing the Sudan, and as the Sudan was split after years of tribal and religious violence, South Sudan; and some go so far as to include Turkey, Pakistan, Afghanistan…

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In Search of Lost Me Time

In retrospect, maybe I placed too much significance on that first trip alone after my son was born. For the first year of his life I had barely spent a single night away from him, so it was only natural that I saw this trip as a precious chance to be, however briefly, a sane adult again. The trip was only for one night to a not-very-glamorous city where I would stay in a not-very-glamorous hotel and deliver a talk in the evening. The place itself did not matter — it could have been anywhere. Instead, it was the promise of travel, of not being home and on duty that seduced me.

Somehow the whole experience became a stand-in for everything that I had lost as a new father: I would be able to sleep in! I could drink more than one beer! I could drink 1,000 beers! I could have a solo electronic dance party to early Kraftwerk records! I could dress up like a robot! I could play Ouija board with myself! (Apparently I have a very strange definition of being “an adult.”)

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