A Biker’s Grandma

Three biker buddies are sitting in a bar. A man, who’s already heavily intoxicated, walks in, sits down and orders a drink.

The man looks around and sees the three bikers sitting at a table in a corner of the bar. He gets up, staggers over to their table, and leans over it.

Looking the biggest of the three men in the eye, the drunk man says: “I went by your grandma’s house and saw her completely naked in the hallway. Man she’s fine!”

The biker looks at the drunk man and doesn’t say anything. His buddies look confused, because people have had their faces kicked in for saying less than that to him in the past.

Leaning against the table once more, the drunk man says: “I got it on with your grandma too. She’s the best I ever had!”

Still no response is received from the biker, however his buddies are now starting to get angry.

The drunk man continues: “I’ll tell you something else too – your grandma loved it!”

At long last, the biker stands up and says: “Dammit Grandpa, you’re drunk! Just go home!”

Palestinians: Presidents for Life, No Elections

Best birthday wishes to Palestinian Authority (PA) President Mahmoud Abbas, who turned 81 last week. The octogenarian appears ready to remain at the helm until his last day — free elections for Palestinians be damned.

Abbas has inherited a tradition of tyranny. His predecessor, Yasser Arafat, was also president for life. Both have plenty of company, joining a long list of African presidents who earned the notorious title of “President for Life” – in Uganda, Equatorial Guinea, Angola, Zimbabwe, Sudan, Chad, Eritrea and Gambia. And let us not forget the Arab dictators in these ranks.

One might hope for at least a deputy — someone to fill the impending and inevitable power vacuum in the PA. Not likely.

Abbas has fiercely resisted demands from leaders of his ruling Fatah faction to name a deputy president or a successor. His reasoning: the time is not “appropriate” for such a move. Palestinians should instead concentrate their energies on rallying international support for a Palestinian state.


Swim. Bike. Cheat?

SQUAMISH, British Columbia — The race was tough and the conditions dreadful — 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of cycling and 26.2 miles of running, mostly in freezing rain — but Susanne Davis crossed the Ironman Canada finish line last July certain that she had won her category, women age 40-44.

Davis, who comes from Carlsbad, Calif., and is one of the top triathletes in her age group in the world, had been first out of the water and first off her bike — she was sure of it. Spectators using a mobile phone race app that shows competitors’ relative positions called out encouragement, telling her she was ahead by a comfortable 10 minutes. As she ran, Davis looked out for rivals, asking the age of every woman she passed or who passed her, and encountered none from her age group.

Yet there she was, accepting the medal for second place at the awards ceremony the next day, five minutes behind a Canadian triathlete named Julie Miller who seemed to have materialized from nowhere and somehow won the race.


Palestinians Praise Jerusalem Bus Bombing Targeting Israelis

Palestinian factions from across the political spectrum are celebrating the latest terrorist bombing of a bus in Jerusalem on Monday afternoon.

An explosive device planted on the bus wounded 21 people, including two in serious condition, and set fire to another bus and nearby vehicle.An armed Fatah-affiliated group praised the attack, claiming that the bombing ushers in a new phase for the Palestinian terrorist uprising, reports journalist Khaled Abu Toameh.

Abu Toameh also tweeted a photo showing employees of Hamas’ al-Aqsa TV channel rejoicing over the terrorist attack and holding a tray of celebratory sweets. Other Palestinians in Gaza also celebrated the bombing, handing out candies and sweets in the streets.

Moreover, senior Hamas official Mousa Abu Marzook glorified the attack on his official Facebook page, calling the bombing “a gift…for our heroic [Palestinian] prisoners,” according to a translation by the Investigative Project on Terrorism.


“Massive diversity” among Islamic State jihadis, many have PhDs, master’s degrees, MBA’s

The high level of education among jihadis has been known for years, but it still surprises the learned analysts. Poverty and ignorance, contrary to U.S. policy and widespread belief, do not cause terrorism. The New York Times reported in March that “not long after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001…Alan B. Krueger, the Princeton economist, tested the widespread assumption that poverty was a key factor in the making of a terrorist. Mr. Krueger’s analysis of economic figures, polls, and data on suicide bombers and hate groups found no link between economic distress and terrorism.”

CNS News noted in September 2013 that “according to a Rand Corporation report on counterterrorism, prepared for the Office of the Secretary of Defense in 2009, ‘Terrorists are not particularly impoverished, uneducated, or afflicted by mental disease. Demographically, their most important characteristic is normalcy (within their environment). Terrorist leaders actually tend to come from relatively privileged backgrounds.’ One of the authors of the RAND report, Darcy Noricks, also found that according to a number of academic studies, ‘Terrorists turn out to be more rather than less educated than the general population.’”

The “massive diversity,” by the way, is not in evidence in one area. The Islamic State recruits all have the same religion.


Sweden: Flagship “integration” soccer tournament for Muslim migrant youths turns into riot

Swedish police have released details of a bloody brawl between migrant youths which started out as a game but left two hospitalised and a number of others injured.

Around 40 so-called unaccompanied young asylum seekers were taking part in a Sunday football tournament when things turned violent in the remote, rural village of Myrviken. Instead of settling their differences through the match, the young migrants set upon each other with iron rods and wooden staves.

Two of those involved were rushed to hospital and several others were injured, but the fight had already ended by the time police officers were able to make it to the location of the fight, reports local paper Östersunds-Posten. Police interrogated what few witnesses were left at the scene, but the majority had already fled.

There have been no arrests yet, according to the official police report. Despite that, a police spokesman said investigations were ongoing due to the seriousness of the fight: “Someone was unconscious at some point, and there were several injuries of various degrees. There are a large number involved, we have identified a large number of people and it will require a lot investigation to produce [results]”.