The Price of Silence

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she told her lover to hide in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: “Dark in here.”

Man: “Yes it is.”

Boy: “I have a baseball.”

Man: “That’s nice.”

Boy: “Want to buy it?”

Man: “No, thanks.”

Boy: “My dad’s right outside.”

Man: “OK, how much?”

Boy: “250 dollars.”

Morning Briefing – The Telegraph

Good morning.

David Cameron is meeting with Jean Claude-Juncker today to talk about his EU renegotiation, we report this morning, with it looking like he’ll be offered a watered down “emergency brake”. The idea would allow Britain to stop EU migrants claiming benefits for four years so long as European leaders give him permission, but it has already drawn snorts of derision from Eurosceptics. “If Govt did try to accept such an “emergency brake”, it’d surely be rejected by the British people,” former cabinet minister David Jones tweeted. One minister told the FT: “I think this will be laughed at by quite a lot of people”. Leave.EU co-founder Arron Banks highlighted Cameron’s dismissal of the idea two years ago as “some arcane mechanism which would probably be triggered by the European Commission and not by us”, adding: “People…don’t want an emergency brake on immigration, they want control of the steering wheel so we can avoid the car crash up ahead.”

There is palpable frustration on the British side about how little European officials seem to be grasping the need to give Britain a “win”. “Europe has been saying they all want to avoid a ‘Brexit’, but they now have to match that with reality,” a source told the Telegraph, adding that a deal is still “there for the taking”. “They just don’t seem to ‘get’ what we are trying to achieve,” another said. Cameron may be tempted to sympathise with George W.Bush, who once called Juncker to his face a “piece of work”, as he tries to clinch a satisfactory deal. The one crumb of comfort Cameron could take is that voters won’t be studying the detail of whatever brake he may return with as much as Eurosceptics, but he’ll still have to work hard to persuade them that his renegotiation means Britain can manage its borders.

As Europe tries to tackle the refugee crisis, the Prime Minister needs a concession on migration in order to meet public concerns. “Cameron can expect far more pressure to take extra refugees from Europe, especially if Britain votes to stay in the EU and loses its leverage,” Fraser Nelson warns in today’s paper. “He should stand firm. We may be a country with a jobs boom and a strong record of social cohesion, but we’re a country where some 8,000 families are already needed to look after vulnerable children. How many more Britons can we realistically expect to care for unaccompanied refugees?”

You may think Out campaigners would have a spring in their step, buoyed by new analysis from Barclays that suggests a British exit from the EU could see the UK become a “safe haven” amid a disintegrating Europe, with Scotland put off from breaking away. But there still is bad blood among Leave campaigners. A Eurosceptic Tory MP who sits on Vote Leave’s board has told the Independent that they’ll be resigning “within days” because he couldn’t stand the “infighting”. “We should be preparing our strategy and putting in place a ground campaign, but as it is, we’re spending our energy fighting each other,” they lamented. The In side, meanwhile, is busy pushing its message, with Karen Brady today warning football clubs that Brexit could have “devastating consequences” for the game at all levels. The Out side hasn’t rushed to respond to this yet, although we can get a sense of the likely Eurosceptic critique thanks to Ukip’s 2010 manifesto (now known by Nigel Farage as “drivel”), which called for a limit of three foreign players on football teams.

“Europe has been saying they all want to avoid a ‘Brexit’, but they now have to match that with reality,” diplomatic source

One No Trump
The last presidential debate before the Iowa caucus was overshadowed by the “elephant not in the room” – Donald Trump. Ruth Sherlock reports on what happened, with other candidates able to shine thanks to the billionaire being out of the picture. “Trump is running to be president of the Idiocracy,” says Tim Stanley. “Even if he loses Iowa, even he loses the nomination, he’s won the contest for the heart and soul of the angry Right and has divided his country in two to do it.” Last night, UK politicians considered the race at an event organised by Ladbrokes and ICG. Labour peer Stewart Wood warned that a Trump presidency would put “enormous strain” on the special relationship, while former foreign secretary Malcolm Rifkind quipped: “Can you imagine a Trump-Boris summit?”

Rhodes To Nowhere
Oxford University’s statue of Cecil Rhodes is to stay in place after furious donors threatened to withdraw gifts and bequests worth more than £100 million if it was taken down, The Telegraph has learnt. The governing body of Oriel College, which owns the statue, has ruled out its removal after being warned that £1.5m worth of donations have already been cancelled, and that it faces dire financial consequences if it bows to the Rhodes Must Fall student campaign.

Osborne Delays Lloyds Sale
Chancellor George Osborne has postponed the planned sell-off of the last of the Government’s shares in Lloyds Banking Group. The retail sale of shares was planned for the spring, however market volatility meant “now is not the right time”, the Chancellor said. The taxpayers’ stake in the bank has been slashed from 43.5pc to below 10pc through a series of sales.

Gove’s Legal Aid U-Turn
Michael Gove, the Justice Secretary, has abandoned legal aid cuts and announced lawyers’ fees are to return to previous levels, following a series of protests by barristers and solicitors. An across-the-board 8.75 per cent cut in fees which came into force in July last year will be scrapped – for at least 12 months – from April, Mr Gove announced. It marks a victory for the legal profession which mounted a concerted attack on the legal aid cuts, claiming they would force firms out of business and leave clients without legal advice.

Dress To Impress, Says Jez
Jeremy Corbyn has told parents to “put some proper clothes on” when taking their children to school, as he backed a headteacher who called on parents not to turn up in nightwear at the school gates. The Labour leader said getting children to school on time, having had breakfast and a good sleep was important, but said people should dress for the weather. This comes as TUC chief Frances O’Grady said Labour should focus on “bread and butter issues”.

Salmond’s Holocaust Controversy
Alex Salmond has come under attack for using his new role representing the UK in Europe to issue a rebuke to the Israeli parliament on Holocaust Memorial Day. The former First Minister told the Council of Europe that it was “inappropriate” for a senior Israeli representative at a Holocaust commemoration service to criticise the presence of Iranian President Hassan Rouhani in France.

Semple Steps Aside
A senior Conservative chairman has volunteered not to attend a key meeting where lawyers will present their evidence regarding allegations of bullying in the party. It follows reports that ten witnesses with concerns about bullying or harassment plan to boycot the investigation amid concerns that Mr Semple may not be impartial. They demanded he stand aside from any contact with the official Clifford Chance report earlier this week.

London’s New Super Sewer
London mayor Boris Johnson has opened the first of two new “super sewers” in London. The new sewer, called the Lee Tunnel, is the biggest project undertaken by the UK water industry since 1989. It costs £678m and it 4.3 miles long, with a depth of 250ft.

Germany Just Can’t Get It Right

The late Robert Conquest once laid out a set of three political rules, the last of which read, “The simplest way to explain the behavior of any bureaucratic organization is to assume that it is controlled by a cabal of its enemies.” This rule comes in handy when trying to understand the otherwise clearly insane and suicidal policies of Chancellor Merkel’s government in Germany. These policies only make sense if the German government has in fact been taken over by a cabal of people intent not on holding Germany together but on pulling it entirely apart. Consider the evidence.

There can be few other explanations for why Chancellor Merkel’s government last year let in more than one million people (about 1.5% of the current German population) without having any idea of who they were, where they came from or what they think. No democratic leader could possibly push through such a startling measure. How else can you explain why a country that in the 20th century had such a gigantic anti-Semitism problem, would import so many people from those areas of the world which, in the 21st century, now have the same gigantic anti-Semitism problem?

A document that was leaked late last year from the German intelligence service warned that the country is “importing Islamic extremism, Arab anti-Semitism, national and ethnic conflicts of other peoples…” How to explain a government and security service policy which allowed this to happen? Or a Chancellor who, when asked a very lightly critical question about all of this by a concerned German citizen, responded with a long disquisition that failed to answer even one part of the pertinent point?

More up-to-date, it is worth considering events since New Year’s Eve. As the world now knows, that was when around 100 women were subjected to rape, harassment and sexual molestation by a huge crowd of migrants in the centre of the city of Cologne. It has now emerged that the first response of the Cologne police to this major incident was to hold back information about the identity of the attackers. Whether the police thought they could get away with that or not, this lie has now poured fuel onto the flames of public anger by demonstrating that the police, like the government and much of the media, are intent on misinforming the public about what is going on in their country, rather than keeping them truthfully briefed about it.


Israel and the Iran Saudi Arabia Standoff

Beyond the Cusp

If you have been following the news in the Middle East there is one overriding story behind almost everything you read about whether it is mentioned or not; the standoff between Iran and Saudi Arabia, also called the Sunni Shiite Never-Ending War which has raged and subsided and raged and subsided repeatedly over the past fourteen centuries. So, let us take a short trip around a few of the hottest hot-spots in the world and peek behind the curtains to uncover some of the behind the scenes realities. Syria, Iran and Hezballah, the Shiite forces, are supporting/allowing Bashir al-Assad to rule Syria or at least be over Damascus and the western seaboard and the Israeli border; while Saudi Arabia supports the Sunni rebel forces trying to unseat al-Assad completely. Then there is the Islamic State which though Sunni is the orphaned freckled, red haired child nobody wishes to claim as…

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How to Throw a Knife Perfectly

The deadly throwing knife attack is such a reliably badass visual in movies it’s a shame to ruin it with physics. Even with sweetest Valyrian steel, mass plus velocity equals one completely intact White Walker. Still, when did a skill have to be practical to be impressive? The point of learning how to throw a knife is that you know how to throw a knife.

No one understands this better than Tom Warren, owner and proprietor of Meadowlake Ranch, a bed and breakfast dude ranch in Sand Springs, Oklahoma. He’s been throwing knives and tomahawks for more than 50 years, and has trained his guests in the art of impalement for roughly the past 20. Warren spoke to Inverse about the importance of knife selection, and why you should always keep your weapon in hand.

If I come to you and I want a course in knife throwing, what do I need to know?