You Have To See The Funny Side

There’s no joke like an old joke, and these are ALL jokes about being old. Everyone knows that seniors have the best sense of humor. They’ve seen a lot more than most, and they know there’s nothing better at the end of the day than family, friends and good belly full of laughter!

senior couple

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’
’98,’ she replied: ‘Two years older than me’ 
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented. 
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

Reporters interviewed a 104-year-old woman. 
‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked. 
‘No peer pressure.’

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’?  
_____________________________________________________________________
My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
_____________________________________________________________________
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
_____________________________________________________________________
I’ve sure gotten old!
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license!
_____________________________________________________________________
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
_____________________________________________________________________
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week’
_____________________________________________________________________
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says: ‘For fast relief.’
_____________________________________________________________________
THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

_____________________________________________________________________

Now, I think you’re supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others.

Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

This entry was posted in Humor, Humour, Jokes by OyiaBrown. Bookmark the permalink.

About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

20 thoughts on “You Have To See The Funny Side

  1. Hm – lets see .. another joke you want …
    The doctor comes along on a Sunday morning after the death of a very elderl gentleman. He meets the weeping widow.
    “Now, a heart arrest while still in bed, that is what I call a good death,” is his clumsy try to console the woman.
    She wails loud. “Oh, doctor, if it wasn’t for this ice-cream van, he would still be alive!”
    “How so? Did he eat too much of it?”
    “No,” sobs the widow, “but we used to make love each Sunday morning to the rhythm of the church bell – Ding – Dong – Ding – Dong ”
    “Uhm,” the doctor does not know what exactly to say after such a personal revelation.
    “And then, today this ice-cream van came along and sounded its bell: Ringadingadingding …”

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