Don’t Take This Lying Down, Guys!

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to  wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he  stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing  machine?’ 
‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What  does it say on your shirt?’
He yelled back, ‘ University of  Oklahoma.’
And they say blondes are dumb…  
A  couple is lying in bed. 
The man says,’I  am going to make you the happiest woman in the  world.’ 
The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss  you…’
‘It’s  just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says  as he stepped out of the shower, ‘honey, what do  you think the neighbors would think if I mowed  the lawn like this?’ 
‘Probably that I  married you for your money,’ she  replied.