Don’t Take This Lying Down, Guys!

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to  wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he  stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing  machine?’ 
‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What  does it say on your shirt?’
He yelled back, ‘ University of  Oklahoma.’
And they say blondes are dumb…  
 
A  couple is lying in bed. 
The man says,’I  am going to make you the happiest woman in the  world.’ 
The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss  you…’
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‘It’s  just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says  as he stepped out of the shower, ‘honey, what do  you think the neighbors would think if I mowed  the lawn like this?’ 
‘Probably that I  married you for your money,’ she  replied.