Once upon a time, there was a woman who arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began shouting greetings to her: “Hello! How are you? You made it! We’ve been waiting for you! Really good to see you.”
When Saint Peter came by, the woman peeked through the gate and said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her.
“Which word?” the woman asked.
The woman promptly, correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter approached the woman and asked her to stand in and watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
“Well, whatdya know! I’m really surprised to see you” the woman exclaimed. “How have you been?”
“Oh, I’d been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband replied. “I married the beautiful, young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my new wife and I have been traveling all around the world. In fact, we were on vacation in Cancun when I went water-skiing and fell. I think I hit my head on something, so here I am. What a bummer! Anyway, how do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” the woman told him.
“Which word?” her husband asked.
“Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis,” she replied.
(Fyi the longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, the lung-disease condition is a whopping 45 letters!)
Moral of the story:
Never make a woman angry or there will be Hell to pay.
The sound of Monu’s footsteps compel us to look at him. It seems he is willingly trying to make the strange sound grab our attention towards his new gum boots. Before I speak to him, he shows all his teeth and enthusiastically says, ‘Bhaijan I bought them for 200 taka from the street. Bou (his wife) had washed them so well that I can see my face in them! Ha! Ha! Ha’
Before I compliment him something someone on my right side, Nibaron, who is Monu’s colleague of 15 years loudly said, ‘Hmm, does your new wife, still cry for you to drop the job, Monu?’ Monu recklessly replies, ‘Women are fools! She thinks tannery labourers die earlier. Allah is the one to decide. Women are crying party. Now I have these gum boots to protect me. She is happy and I am happy too!’
Monu got married to ‘Salma’…
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It all looks nice. It isn’t.
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The first time I heard of Raahgiri was from my sister and brother-in-law, who reside in Gurgaon (35 kms away from New Delhi). They were all gaga about this unique concept which was happening in their city every Sunday morning. In fact, they were so excited, they wanted me to fly down over a weekend, just to experience the event!
But, Know-All, as you all know, knows better! So, he smirked and carried on with his daily routine of spreading his know-allness! 😀
Finally it was time to make the annual trip to his sister’s place in October.
One fine Sunday morning, we woke up very early and drove all the way to Connaught Place (CP) in New Delhi, to find out what this thing Raahgiri was all about!
The first impression was that of confusion…caused no doubt by my lack of sleep! Is it a…
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