A Serious Medical Condition

99999A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.

As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, ‘I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?’

‘I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm. ‘

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. ‘I have never heard of that condition before’ he said. ‘Are you taking anything for it?’

The woman nodded, ‘Pepper.’

NATO Enlargement and Ukraine: Myth vs. Facts

In world politics and life, belief in myths invites disaster. One currently prevailing myth propagated by Russia and its defenders in America is that the cause of Moscow’s ongoing aggression against Ukraine is the result of the threat Russia feels from the enlargement of NATO and its after-effects.[1]

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European ‘No-Go’ Zones: Fact or Fiction? Part 2: Britain

“There’s things that I see when I’m driving around Birmingham that shouldn’t be happening. I only drive into these areas, never actually walk into these areas, I just wouldn’t. Just in case I did do something that…because of their culture or their religion it was a threat or it was an insult or something.” — Resident of Birmingham.

“There are some communities born under other skies who will not involve the police at all… there are communities from other cultures who would prefer to police themselves.” — Sir Tom Winsor, chief inspector of the police forces in England and Wales.

“We are sleepwalking our way to segregation. We are becoming strangers to each other and leaving communities to be marooned outside the mainstream.” — Trevor Phillips, former chairman of the Commission for Racial Equality.

“One of the results of [multiculturalism] has been to further alienate the young from the nation in which they were growing up and also to turn already separate communities into ‘no-go’ areas where adherence to this ideology [of Islamic extremism] has become a mark of acceptability.” — Michael Nazir-Ali, former Bishop of Rochester.

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Morning Briefing – The Telegraph

Good morning.

The latest Scotland poll brings more misery for Labour, with neither they or the SNP showing any real movement outside the margin of error. (The numbers are SNP 45%, Labour 28%, Conservatives 15%, Liberal Democrats 5% and “Murphy’s Raw” is the Record’s splash)

But in England and Wales there is little sign of a Conservative revival. The Labour lead doesn’t seem to be falling as electoral history would suggest that it should – and to make matters worse for Tory hopes, it looks like Ed Miliband, rather than the PM, who is the beneficiary of the apparent decline in Ukip’s standing of late, with Labour again on 34% for the fifth day in a row in our poll of polls . (The usual health warnings apply, of course, although the decline does appear to be fairly regular across all the pollsters)

It may be that the latest announcement on welfare – “Stamp out sick-note culture, GPs told” is the Times’ splash – with GPs tasked with referring anyone ill for more than four weeks to a fit-for-work test will secure that much-coveted Conservative boost. (Don’t forget that when focus groups are asked to pick an image to describe Labour, they tend to choose a slob on a couch)

Or it may be that it confirms voter prejudices about the Conservative party at the worst possible time. As James Kirkup notes in his column today, it’s a contest between core votes. It does, for the moment, appear as if Labour’s bunker is somewhat larger than the Conservative one.

PUTIN THE BOOT IN

Vladimir Putin doesn’t appear to be keeping his word in Ukraine – hardly a surprise, our leader sighs – and Michael Fallon warns that there is a “real and present danger” that Mr Putin will make a grab for the Baltic states next. “Putin will target the Baltic next, says Fallon” is our splash.

HAPPINESS IS A NATIONALISED TRAIN

Privatising the railways was a “disaster”, councils should be stopped from putting so many speed cameras everywhere and the best Beatles record was the White Album, Michael Dugher tells George Eaton. Labour are pledging action to fix the first two if they win in May.

OH, THE HOKEY-COKEY

David Cameron has downplayed the chances of a 2016 referendum on the European Union, saying he will need more time if he is to succeed in his renegotiation. “I want to give people the best possible choice,” the PM said. An In-Out referendum without renegotiation would leave Britain with two “unappetising choices”.

NOTE TO SELF: NEVER TAKE NEIL KINNOCK TO LUNCH

The mansion tax is nothing for the people paying it, Neil Kinnock tells the FT’s Jim Pickard. “They would spend that on lunch,” Lord Kinnock says, pointing out that people who have low earnings and large houses can defer the charge until the house is sold or they die.

THE DOWNING STREET DISASTER

Downing Street has been accused of revealing the name of an ex-SAS officer “to make a political point”. The Indy’s Robert Verkaik has got hold of the minutes of a meeting of the DA Notice Committee.

BLAIR

Tony Blair will advise the Serbian government on governance issues, the Guardian reveals.

EM4PM

Esther McVey has an honest answer to the tricky question of whether she’d like to be PM one day. “Yes,” she told Loose Women. In a remarkable coincidence, I’m in Wirral West where the WiFi is not great. Apologies for the delay!