New ATM Procedure

A new sign in the Bank reads:

“Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.”

*************************************************************************************

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

*************************************************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this is true!!)

1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in the back.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

27. Release hand brake.

Permission to Play

Andrew Nixon's Photo Blog

IMG_2734

I’ve been feeling overwhelmingly stuck and uninspired over the last few months, perhaps longer if I’m being honest with myself. That’s not to say that I haven’t had my moments but it’s been and continues to be hard going.

The usual advice that you get in these circumstances is to keep going. Work yourself out of the funk, make a lot of work and see where that leads you. My advice to myself was to play more.

After a bit of digging I realized that I was working within a particular sent of constraints that had provided a useful framework at one point but now were stifling. I needed to step back and break the rules that I’d established for myself.

Playing the camera on my iPhone has been enormously helpful in breaking one of my rules – always shoot on a tripod – it also forced me into using…

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Adrian Goldberg on Mixed Marriage

GOLDEN ROOM

BBC presenter Adrian Goldberg is himself the product of a Mixed marriage, his father a German Jew and Holocaust survivor, and his mother an Irish Catholic. Today, Adrian is himself in a Mixed marriage to a woman of Pakistani Muslim heritage. These personal details and the data from the Census which indicates that nearly 10% of relationships today are inter ethnic, have inspired Golderg to have conversations with other people in Mixed marriages today. In the first series he speaks with Tara Bariana. Tara arrived in England from India in the 1960s and was, in his words, an illiterate 13 year old who couldn’t speak English. He was expected to marry a Punjabi girl, but went against his family’s wishes when he met and fell in love with Beryl, the daughter of a Baptist minister. Adrian hears Tara’s story, and finds out what happened next.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b04xp159

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Cable car 9,000ft up in the French Alps turned into a luxury room for overnight stays

World News - Breaking International News Headlines and Leaks

A cable car suspended 2700 metres above the ground has been transformed into a luxury bedroom in one of the world’s most popular ski resorts

  • The unusual accommodation will be available in a cable car above stylish resort of Courchevel, France
  • The room is being offered as part of a competition by travel firm Airbnb for one night only
  • Guests must explain why they want to spend night in the Saulire cable car to win the chance for a stay
  • The winning entry will be able to take three guests to the car on March 6 for a night above the mountains

A cable car suspended 8,858ft above the ground has been transformed into a luxury bedroom in one of the world’s most popular ski resorts.

Ski lovers are being offered the chance to spend the night in a Saulire cable car in Courchevel, France.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the company say that the cable car, which is being equipped with a bed and a living room, is there highest ever European listing

The hotel room, which offers guests the perfect location to hit the slopes the next morning, is being offered by accommodation website Airbnb.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the company say that the…

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Holocaust Remembrance Day, the BBC, and Lessons Lost

Beyond the Cusp

On International Holocaust Remembrance Day the BBC show The Big Questions asked and debated the topic as follows, “Our one big question this morning: Is the time coming to lay the Holocaust to rest?” To many the answer is obvious; the problem is the obvious answer is rapidly approaching being evenly divided between the affirmative and the negative. It used to be that if one claimed that the Holocaust was a myth invented by the Jews to use to garnet sympathy or to bludgeon the world with a guilt trip, particularly Germany and the Europeans, was a view which relegated one as outside acceptable society throughout the world with some obvious exceptions. It was certainly not something even debated within Europe or Western society. That has changed to the point that a group of eighth-grade teachers in the Rialto Unified School District decided that asking their students to take a…

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Morning Briefing – The Telegraph

Good morning.

Labour’s latest offensive on the NHS has been blown off course. Former Health Secretary Alan Milburn isn’t convinced by his party’s plans, telling Wato that the Opposition risks being seen as more able to fund the NHS “but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming”. It’s a “pale imitation of 1992, and maybe it will have the same outcome, I don’t know,” Mr Milburn warns. Another Blairite former minister, John, now Lord, Hutton, has also chimed in: saying the party “ought to win” the next election but mustn’t avoid the “really difficult, hard choices”. (In today’s FT, the two men strike a more supportive note, calling for Labour to do more to defend the last Labour government’s reputation for fiscal competence.)

Elsewhere that word “weaponise” continues to cast a heavy shadow, with Ed Miliband tellling 5Live that he “can’t remember” whether he used the word in question. The Labour leader has set tongues wagging by refusing to say whether Andy Burnham will be made Health Secretary if Labour form the next government and refusing to confirm whether he’ll keep Andy Burnham in post after the election in an interview with the Health Service Journal.

“Labour election chaos over NHS” is our splash, while “Labour NHS strategy will bring ‘poll catastrophe” is the Times’. “Lightweight” is the Sun’s verdict on page 2, with Ed Miliband’s head photoshopped into a light bulb aka Neil Kinnock in 1992. “The Sun was never a fan of Neil Kinnock,” its leader thunders, “But against today’s Labour leader the Welsh windbag looks like Churchill. Winston – not the nodding dog.”

Is it 1992 all over again? Mr Miliband can take some comfort from the fact that it was bad polling, not a sudden loss of support, that meant Lord Kinnock was unexpectedly defeated at that election and if the electorate in 1992 had looked like the one in 2015, the Conservatives would have been the largest party, but without a majority. But if 99 days from now David Cameron is still head of the largest grouping in the Commons then that will be a fairly thin comfort.

LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN

Ukip will bring back smoking in pubs and introduce a 35p rate of tax, Lucy Fisher reports in the Times. But that the pledge is to introduce a 35p rate between £42,285 and £55,000, “taking many public sector workers out of the top rate of tax”, suggests that Ukip is unaware that the top rate kicks in at £150,000. It’s not just Nigel Farage who is het up over smoking; up to 100 Conservative MPs will vote against the Government’s plain packaging plans, Chris Hope reveals.

VOTE DAVE, GET NIGEL?

Britain would be “a better, stronger country” if net migration fell to tens of thousands, David Cameron says. People recognise that immigration is “good for the UK” but feel it has not been “controlled properly”, the PM told Radio 2. Steven Swinford has the story.

SYRIZA’S PPE?

The University of Essex will count many senior figures among the leading party in the new Greek government among its alumni, with Yanis Varoufakis, the finance minister, the most prominent. Tom Rowley speaks to one of his lecturers, Roy Bailey. “I wouldn’t say he was always scoring top marks,” Mr Bailey tells Tom, “You wouldn’t say this is a stellar individual we should send to Harvard. But he shone when it came to independent thinking.”

STOP AND THINK

In a letter to the Telegraph, 47 academics have warned that the amendment to the Serious Crime Bill to prevent gender-selective abortion would “undermine the professional integrity of those who work in an already overstretched abortion service”, “risks encouraging doctors to enact some form of ethnic profiling” and seeks to erode women’s reproductive rights through construing abortion “as an offense against the unborn child”.

GODOT: “IT HAS BEEN A WHILE, YES.”

The Chilcot inquiry into the Iraq war has taken “longer than any of us expected would be necessary”, Sir John Chilcot, who will be grilled by the Foreign Affairs Committee on the progress of the report next week, has said.

VICE-CHANCELLORS

Sir Steve Smith, the University of Exeter’s Vice-Chancellor, has appealed to Ed Miliband to stop considering a £3k cut in fees as it subsidises the middle class and could put higher education funding in jeopardy, Greg Hurst reports in the Times. Also unhappy with the planned policy is Briefing alumnus Tim Wigmore, who rounds on the policy over at the New Statesman.

A FÉIN MESS YOU’VE LANDED ME IN

Sinn Féin and the DUP are considering legal action in order to secure a place in the two televised election debates, Henry McDonald reports in the Guardian. Labour have held “secret talks” with Sinn Féin in order to secure that party’s support in a hung parliament, Kevin Schofield reports in the Sun, although Labour spinners deny they are planning for anything other than a majority government.

WITH FOUNDERS LIKE THIS

Douglas Carswell “lacks the backbone” to confront Nigel Farage and “has the charisma of a wet turd”, Ukip founder Dr Alan Sked tells the Huffington Post’s Asa Bennett.

AARD TIMES FOR ED?

A character in the new Aardman Animations film bears a startling resemblance to Ed Miliband, the Mail reports. I’m told that Labour spinners did consider a party political broadcast with an Aardman-designed Ed Miliband using a freeze ray to keep energy bills under control some time ago, but the idea was mothballed. It may be that the design has been re-used by Aardman. Or it could be a coincidence.

The Blizzard That Wasn’t

PA Pundits - International

caruba_alan20080111By Alan Caruba ~

Dateline: January 27, 2015 – 3 to 4 AM, New York City and Tri-State area.

There was no climate change where I live in a suburb of Newark, N.J. if by “climate change” you meant a dramatic blizzard with high winds and several feet of snow. It’s winter and you get the occasional, rare blizzard every few years, but more often you get snowstorms. That’s not “change” by any definition.

Cartoon - Climate Change Predictions

Listening to WABC radio follow events with callers from around the Tri-State area calling in with far more accurate reports than the meteorologists was an education in the way those trained in meteorology and the rest of us have been conditioned to believe that something is happening to planet Earth that, quite simply, is not happening.

The meteorologists spent their time trying to figure out the difference between a European computer model and one generated here…

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