DECLARATION OF ALAN M. DERSHOWITZ
1. My name is Alan M. Dershowitz. I make this declaration on personal knowledge and pursuant to the provisions of 28 U.S.C. § 1746, and in response to a pleading in which the lawyers for Jane Doe #3, without benefit of an affidavit, leveled totally false and outrageous charges against me that have been reported around the world and threaten to damage my reputation irrevocably.
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’
Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’
Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think £5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’
Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
Wife: ‘What are you doing?’
Wife: ‘Nothing . . . ? You’ve been studying our marriage certificate for quite some time.’
Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’
Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’
Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’
Wife: ‘Yes or no.’
Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.’
Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’
Girl: ‘Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.’
Son: ‘Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’
Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’
Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on Daddy’s lap.’
A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’
‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’
A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humor!’
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
‘What was that for?’ the man asked.
The wife replied , ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.
The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week , Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’
Let us pray………………….
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk
A religion which blesses and encourages the slaughter of those who offend it or its “prophet” should be condemned, not praised, unless and until it stops doing both.
On January 14th, I posted an article titled Obama plans to restrain media offensiveness to Islam. As a thought experiment, this less than obviously relevant cartoon appeared at the top:
I considered the cartoon offensive and hope that everyone else did too. It might depict Mohamed, or it might not. Beyond vague descriptions, likely of questionable value, we have little information about Mohamed’s physical appearance. The cartoon could depict any obese human male wearing a turban. The same is true of other cartoons purporting to depict Mohamed in various poses.
Had a similar cartoon shown instead a Roman Catholic priest or a rabbi on a roasting spit, with a giant pencil extending into his anus and thence through his body and mouth, present day Christians, Jews and those of most other…
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With the bad rap that the liberal left in America is generally heaping on the police in this country, it might be useful for the mainstream media to pay some attention to the hostage situation in Sydney, Australia which fortunately has been resolved with minimum injury.The alleged hostage taker, one Man Haron Monis has been captured and his captors released.
“Monis has long been on officials’ radar. Last year, he was sentenced to 300 hours of community service for writing offensive letters to families of soldiers killed in Afghanistan. He was later charged with being an accessory to the murder of his ex-wife. Earlier this year, he was charged with the sexual assault of a woman in 2002. He has been out on bail on the charges.” (AP – Kristen Gelineau).
While Australian authorities are downplaying the hostage taking as a “one-off” event, during the course of his occupying the…
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