PARAPROSDOKIANS…..unusual wisdom

I had to look up “paraprosdokian.”

Here is the definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it!” is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’

13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his wife. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Do not use this one!

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

22. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Service usually uses water.

Palestine just joined the International Criminal Court. Here’s what that means.

World News - Breaking International News Headlines and Leaks

Last week, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas signed a treaty to make Palestine the newest member state of the International Criminal Court (ICC).

The move was greeted with jubilation in Ramallah, where there were reportedly fireworks to mark the occasion, and by outrage in the Israeli government.

But the practical consequences of Palestine’s move to join the court are much less clear. Here’s what you need to know about what Palestine joining the court really means, why Israel and the US oppose the move, and what this means for the Israel-Palestine conflict.

1) So is Palestine a member of the ICC now?

Palestinian treaty signing

Mahmoud Abbas signs international agreements, including the ICC’s Treaty of Rome, on December 31, 2014. (Issam Rimawi/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

Probably, but it’s not 100 percent for sure. If news reports are correct, Palestine has acceded to the ICC treaty, and thus completed the main legal process for joining the…

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Is the Palestinian Application to Join the International Criminal Court (ICC) a Response to Israel’s Failure to Negotiate Peace?

MYTH:

The Palestinian application to join the International Criminal Court is a response to Israel’s failure to negotiate peace

FACT

The records of Israel and the Palestinian Authority toward negotiations are well known. Israel has consistently called for direct negotiations while PA president Mahmoud Abbas has refused to meet with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (except for a brief encounter in 2009 when no talks were held) since he was elected in 2005.566

The election of Barack Obama stimulated new hope that the United States might finally force Israel to capitulate to their demands. The Palestinians were quickly disappointed, however, when it became clear that Obama was unable or unwilling to do so.

This lack of U.S. support prompted the Palestinians to forego even the pretense of interest in negotiations and to mount an international campaign to gain recognition for “Palestine” in hopes that the UN would impose a settlement on Israel based on Palestinian demands. Thanks to the automatic majority that supports every Palestinian initiative in the General Assembly, Palestine was recognized as a non-member observer state in 2012.

More…

Horrific Assault on Charlie Hebdo in Paris Pointless Loss

Beyond the Cusp

A dozen innocent workers slaughtered in the satirical, off color, caricatural and mocking news magazine Charlie Hebdo in Islamic supremacist military styled assault where the Islamic militant assailants were said to have claimed in their cowardly assault yelling, “The Prophet has been avenged.” These craven, contemptible, gutless defenders of the permanently offended adherents of Islam armed with Kalashnikovs and reportedly a rocket launcher assailed the office braving the potential threat from cartoonists and editorialists armed with markers and pens to avenge their revered divinely inspired prophet from the sharp wits of sarcasm and potential mockery. Far be it from us to mock Allah or Muhammad, but gutless weasels using hot lead to answer cold ink on paper deserves mockery and the firmest and most severe enforcement of the laws of man as that itself would be the unkindest cut of all. Bringing these depraved, vile, inhuman poltroons before French law…

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