New definition for S.O.S.
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, ‘watch this!’
and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a
He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke
The sound barrier.
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought
of that?The C-130 pilot said, ‘That was impressive, but watch this!’
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said:
‘What did you think of that?’
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, ‘What the heck did you do?’
The C-130 pilot chuckled.
‘I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back,
used the toilet, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.’
When you are young & foolish – speed & flash may seem a good thing!
When you get older & smarter –
comfort & dull is not such a bad thing!
Us older folks understand this one, it’s called S.O.S.
Slower, Older and Smarter….
A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy yells to the bartender: “Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?’
A deathly silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says: “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200lb blonde with a black belt in Karate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she’s a pro wrestler.
Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man pauses to think, and says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
We have seen it so often. Anti-Israel propagandists posting photos of dead or wounded children, or some other images designed to paint Israel in the worst possible light. A picture speaks a thousands words, so such photos and videos cause untold damage to Israel’s image, even though the story behind them may tell a different or more nuanced story.
But in this “fast food” generation, most people see such images and make up their minds within the first few minutes. Only those really interested in truth will bother finding out the actual story behind them.
In their unquenchable thirst to produce and disseminate such images, the anti-Israel propagandists have resorted to either recycling old ones and passing them off as current, or using images from elsewhere in the world, such as Syria.
One day, a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
“Eighty dollars,” the dentist says.
“That’s a ridiculous amount,” the man says. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?”
“Well,” the dentist says, “if you don’t use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60.”
“That’s still too expensive,” the man says.
“Okay,” says the dentist. “If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20.”
“Nope,” moans the man, “it’s still too much.”
“Well,” says the dentist, scratching his head, “if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10.”
“Marvelous,” says the man, “book my wife for next Tuesday!”
Many politicians and members of the public have come to see Palestinians as the world’s underdogs, who, however ugly their behaviour, can do no wrong; and to portray Israel as a Nazi state that persecutes the Palestinians and “steals” the land — mystifyingly — of a people, the Jews, who have lived on that land for roughly 4,000 years.
“In a final resolution, we would not see a single Israeli — civilian or soldier — on our lands.” — Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas.
“The Day of Judgement will not come about until Muslims fight and kill the Jews, when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and the trees will say, O Muslims, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him. ” — Hamas Charter, Article 7.
“[T]his struggle will not cease unless the Zionist state is demolished and Palestine is completely liberated.” Article 19, — Fatah [PLO] Constitution, as of July 19, 2005.