I have a new neighbour. She’s single and lives right across the street from me

I can even see her house from my living room.

This evening I watched as she got home from work and was surprised
when she walked across the street in the rain and up my driveway.

She knocked on my door…and I rushed to open it.

She looked at me, and said, “I just got home, and feel so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have sex
all night long! How are you fixed tonight?”

I immediately replied, “I’m completely free… no plans at all!”

Then she said, “Good! In that case, would you watch my dog?”

It’s no fun being old!!!

Never Force Children To Pray

99999At dinner, a little boy was asked to lead the prayer.

“But I don’t know how to pray,” he replies.

Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc.,” says his father.

“Okay,” stuttered the boy. “Dear Lord,… Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again.

Forgive our neighbour’s son, who removed my sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.

This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy’s Blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom’s room when daddy is at work. AMEN”

Dinner was cancelled.

Britain can reclaim its human rights laws

Conservative plans to reshape our human rights laws will undoubtedly prompt criticism that we are simply offering succour to those who lead totalitarian states or who ignore the basic rights that everyone should enjoy.

In fact the opposite is true. The argument is not about human rights, to which we all subscribe. When I was leader of the opposition, we defeated the plan to allow detention without charge for 90 days. The protection of that basic right was achieved in and by Parliament – the body to which we have looked, down the ages, for such protection.

No, the argument today is whether the European Court of Human Rights and the Human Rights Act help to protect such rights or, by the way in which they have operated, bring the concept into disrepute.


David Cameron’s tax pledge won’t break the bank – but his NHS one might

It is quite wrong for David Cameron’s critics to claim that his new tax pledges are lavish and unaffordable. The Prime Minister has always been cautious about tax, and remains so now. His promise to lift the higher-rate tax threshold by the end of the decade is just a matter of keeping up with inflation – but at conference this week he cleverly made it sound like a giveaway. This is not to say there was no jaw-dropping radicalism unveiled at the Tory conference – there was, but of a very different type.


Daily NhanSense – Day 11

Nhan Fiction

Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 11’s Topic: Thoughts.

I am someone who tends to have a wandering mind, one constantly on the go with thoughts racing in and out.

I always work on various “projects” throughout the week, but I think it is about time I accelerated my efforts to bring them to fruition. It can be tough at times due to how the sense of “willpower” is in fact finite, and you have to replenish this willpower when it becomes depleted.

I wish I could have endless willpower, and then I would probably have a million things finished by now. Nonetheless, I am still human, and as a human I can only do so much.

This doesn’t mean, however, that I cannot put in an…

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China warns of ‘unimaginable consequences’ if Hong Kong demonstrations continue

China News

Hong Kong Protests Hong Kong Protests

China’s Communist Party has warned of “unimaginable consequences” if demonstrations by pro-democracy campaigners in Hong Kong continue.

The threat, made in the party-run People’s Daily, came as China’s government appeared to be losing patience with the protesters, who have threatened to occupy government buildings unless the city’s chief executive, Leung Chun-Ying, resigns by the end of today.

An editorial read on state TV called for people to support the government’s efforts to “deploy police enforcement decisively” and “restore the social order in Hong Kong as soon as possible”.

Amid the heightened tensions, Lord Patten, the last British governor of Hong Kong, accused Beijing of breaching its commitments to Hongkongers, made before the territory was returned to China in 1997.

Lord Patten said Beijing was undermining the so-called “one country, two systems” agreement, which affords the people of Hong Kong a degree of autonomy…

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