Going the Distance

9999The army recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They went through many retirement plans but nothing seemed to please everyone.

In the end, desperate, they promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general’s body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.

He walked out with a check of $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine General, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: “From the tip of my penis to my testicles.”

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he’d better get the medical officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop ’em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general’s penis and began to work back. “My God man!” he said, “where are your testicles??”

“Vietnam,” smiled the general.

Hamas Mega-Attack Planned through Gaza Terror Tunnels

Hamas had apparently been preparing a murderous assault on Israeli civilian targets for the coming Jewish New Year Holiday, Rosh Hashanah, which begins on September 24, according anonymous sources in the Israeli security services, as reported today by the Israeli daily Maariv.

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A cold wind in the warmth – (originally posted on 14.03.14)

The UK Prime Minister, David Cameron, made a strikingly warm speech about Israel in the Knesset on Wednesday, including this statement:

‘Israel is and will always be the homeland for the Jewish people; that is what the State of Israel was and is all about.’

Indeed; a most welcome and, in the current environment, brave statement of the obvious. What a shame, then, that this was somewhat marred by what he subsequently said when defending this remark against the inevitable push-back from those who do not want the Jewish homeland to exist.

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Nigel Farage: David Cameron’s EU benefits diatribe fools no one

The Prime Minister has scored a brilliant summer hit with the headline writers. “EU migrant benefit curbs fast-tracked”; “Government announces limits on EU migrants’ benefits access”; “New rules on migrant benefits to be announced as UK makes system more robust against abuse”; and “Further curbs to migrant access to benefits announced”.

Except, of course, these headlines are from December, January, February and April respectively. His latest announcements on Europe and welfare are just a matter of the Government still trying to play catch-up with public opinion.

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Labour resurrects plans for a death tax

Labour has resurrected plans for a 15 per cent “death tax” to pay for people’s care in old age.

Andy Burnham, the shadow health secretary, said he wants Labour to “embrace” a system where social care is funded by imposing a tax on estates when people die.

Labour abandoned plans for a 10 per cent levy on estates to pay for social care before the 2010 general election following a wave of criticism.

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Hamas must be defeated the old-fashioned way, beginning with a demand for unconditional surrender

WarSclerotic

Hamas must be defeated the old-fashioned way, beginning with a demand for unconditional surrender
By Zev Chafets Published July 28, 2014


Has anyone considered this form of ceasefire?-LS

On Monday morning, the Jerusalem Post published the results of a poll on Israel’s next steps. About 10 percent of the public said that enough was enough and it was time for a cease-fire. Another 3 percent weren’t sure.

But 86.5% of Jewish Israelis said that they want to keep fighting.

Nobody asked me, but I’m with the majority.

Twice before, in 2008 and 2012, Israel attempted to end Hamas infiltration and rocket fire with limited military actions. Both of those efforts ended in a cease-fire accompanied by Israeli government threats to Hamas of the “don’t make me come back here again” variety.

When Hamas opened fire three weeks ago, many Israelis hoped that this time would be different. Instead, Prime Minister…

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Rockets found in UNRWA school, for third time

WarSclerotic

Rockets found in UNRWA school, for third time | The Times of Israel.

UN agency spokesperson condemns discovery, says munitions expert hasn’t yet reached Gaza facility

July 30, 2014, 1:28 am

Palestinians at an UNRWA school after fleeing their homes following an Israeli ground offensive in Rafah in the southern Gaza Strip, on July 18, 2014. (photo credit: Abed Rahim Khatib/Flash90)
Palestinians at an UNRWA school after fleeing their homes following an Israeli ground offensive in Rafah in the southern Gaza Strip, on July 18, 2014. (photo credit: Abed Rahim Khatib/Flash90)

A UN aid agency for Palestinian refugees said Tuesday that a stockpile of Hamas rockets was found in one of UNRWA’s Gaza schools — for the third time since the onset of Operation Protective Edge.

The incident, however, was not publicized by UNRWA on its website or official Twitter feed, or that of its spokesperson.

In its press release, UNRWA’s spokesperson said that the discovery was made during a routine inspection of the school, “which was closed for the summer and not being used…

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