New Associate Degree – SECOND YEAR

James' Funnies

For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage – under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage. Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree….
TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-mesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an associates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
SECOND YEAR:
Autumn Schedule:
SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
Elective (See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule:
MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

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GREEN ENERGY AND THE ATTROCITY IN UKRAINE

juwannadoright

Yesterday President Obama took a break from fund raising (although he will resume his schedule for that purpose later in the week) to offer a statement on the downing of Malaysia Flight 17 over the Ukraine and wag his finger at those who are impeding the effort to provide the 298 victims and their families the dignity of closure.  The “speech” seemed perfunctory, devoid of either passion or real outrage which we all should feel about this act of terrorism. Of course, there wasn’t much outrage when President Putin acquired Crimea.

The president of the United States has not been alone in providing a muted response to what most believe was a tragedy that either was directly attributable to Vladimir Putin or at the least one in which he was a willing partner.  The leaders of Europe have been similarly silent.  It took a former head of state, Tony Blair…

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Low-life Cheatin’ Wascally Wepublicans!

9999The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither Mitt Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc.,

But someone came up with a week-long ice fishing competition that seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things.

The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. So it was decided that there would be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.

After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin .

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately at 6:00 A.M. on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.

At the end of the first day, Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 fish.

A few minutes later, Obama returned and had no fish.

Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Mitt came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, the democrats got together secretly and said, “I think the Mitt Romney is a low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun.

Tomorrow don’t bother fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.’

The next night (after Mitt returns with 50 fish).

The democrats got together for the report of how the republicans were cheating. And Obama said, “You are not going to believe this.

That cheating SOB is cutting holes in the ice.”