An Indian mind at work!

A naked and drunken woman boards taxi in London one night.

The Indian driver keeps staring, and does not start the taxi.

Woman: “Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

Driver: “I’m not staring at you lady. Just wondering where have you put the money to pay me”

Home Truths…!

1.How BEDROOM smells

After MARRIAGE:

1st 3 yrs—Perfumes, Flowers,Chocolate,Fruits..
After 3 yrs—Baby powder,Johnson’s, Baby creams, Lotions,Baby oils..,
After 15 yrs—Zandu Balm,Vicks,Iodex,Relispray..
After 40 yrs—Agarbatti…, incense.

2. Four stages of marriage:

Mad for each other,
Made for each other,
Mad at each other
Mad because of each other

3. What’s Marriage?

Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense of Humans
That Destroys All The Six Senses
And Makes The Person NON Sense…!

4. Definition Of Happy Couple –

HE Does What SHE Wants…
SHE Does What SHE Wants.

5. Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.

Husband: Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband!!!

6. Mistakes
‘Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life.”- Shakespeare
“Laughing At Your Wife’s Mistakes,Can Shorten Your Life.”- Shakespeare’s Wife

Two sisters

James' Funnies

Mrs. Shapiro, the Matchmaker, goes to see Mr. Cohen, a confirmed bachelor for many years.
“Mr. Cohen, don’t leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you’ll meet and be married in no time!” says the Matchmaker.
“Don’t bother,” replies Mr. Cohen, “I’ve two sisters at home, who look after all my needs.”
“That’s all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife.”
“I said ‘two sisters’. I didn’t say they were mine.”

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Hamas Rules Out Ceasefire with Israel

WarSclerotic

Hamas Rules Out Ceasefire with Israel, Fars News Agency, July 5, 20114

(From the “for what it’s worth” department. — DM)

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Al-Masri reiterated that Hamas is ready to defend the Palestinian nation with all the means in its access.

TEHRAN (FNA)- A senior Hamas official underlined that the Palestinian resistance movement has no plans to achieve a ceasefire with Israel, stressing that Tel Aviv itself should end the war that it has started.

“There are no new and real efforts to have a ceasefire with Israel,” the Palestinian news website Palestine Al-Youm quoted Mushir Al-Masri as saying on Saturday.

He noted that Israel is the one that has begun its attacks against the Palestinian nation and it should end it itself.

Al-Masri reiterated that Hamas is ready to defend the Palestinian nation with all the means in its access.

The Israeli army has set the 19:00 on Saturday…

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Abu Bakr al-Baghdadis Message as Caliph

“[F]ear Allah as he should be feared and do not die except as Muslims…. Go forth, O mujahidin in the path of Allah. Terrify the enemies of Allah and seek death…. for the dunyā [worldly life] will come to an end, and the hereafter will last forever.” — Abu Bakr al-Husayni al-Baghdadi, Caliph, “The Islamic State” [aka ISIS]

More…

Getting The Better Of Gandhi

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity towards Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their “arguments” were very common.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.

The professor, in his arrogance, said, “Mr Gandhi: you do not understand… a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat “, to which Gandhi replies, “Do not worry professor, I’ll fly away”, and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters decides to take revenge on the next test, but Gandhi responds brilliantly to all questions. Then, Mr. Peters asked him the following question: “Mr Gandhi, if you are walking down the street and find a package, and within it there is a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money; which one will you take?”

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “the one with the money, of course”.

Mr. Peters, smiling, said, “In, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.

“Each one takes what one doesn’t have”, responded Gandhi indifferently.

Mr. Peters, already very annoyed, writes on the exam sheet the word “idiot” and gives it to Gandhi.

Gandhi takes the exam sheet and sits down. A few minutes later, Gandhi goes to the professor and says, “Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”