The Church Bells

Nancy just received terrible news. Her beloved grandfather just passed away. She went straight to her grandparents’ house to visit her 92 year old grandmother and offer her some comfort.

When she asked how her grandfather died, her grandmother replied, “It was a heart attack, he got it while we were making love Saturday morning.”

Horrified, Nancy told her grandmother that 2 people nearing 100 years of age having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

1“Oh no, my dear, ” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, “And if that damned ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”

Apparently Iceland is One Giant Abstract Painting

TwistedSifter

 

Andre Ermolaev is a photographer from Moscow, Russia (featured previously). In an ongoing series of aerial photos, Andre captures Iceland’s incredible landscape like you’ve never seen. Many of his images focus on capturing glacial rivers flowing through Iceland’s volcanic areas and the patterns and colours that emerge from the resulting flow. As Andre describes on his website:

“Iceland is a wonderful country; I would even say that it is a true paradise for all the photo shooting-lovers. But what has become a real discovery for me is the bird’s eye view of the rivers flowing along the black volcanic sand. It is an inexpressible combination of colors, lines, and patterns.”

 

You can find many more breathtaking images from Andre at the links below. If you’re interested in prints, click here to see the different sizes and framing options available.

 

ANDRE ERMOLAEV
Website | Galleries

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From Cuba to the US at Age 64

Dyana Nyad Will Teach You Never to Give Up

Unable to see anything in the dark of night, stung badly be jellyfish, choking on freezing salt water, hallucinating – and still, Diana Nyad kept on swimming, which is how she finally realized her dream of swimming the 100 miles between Cuba and Florida, and at age 64! This is her story, and it\’s one you\’ve got to hear!

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There now follows a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the English Cannibal Party.

The Slog

Good evening. My name is Sir Crampton Budleigh-Salterton, and I am the Chairman of the English Cannibal Party.

I want to talk to you tonight, not about the cardboard cut-out misrepresentation of the ECP you will have seen on your television screens over the years, but rather of the Party I am proud to lead. A Party with a 468 year history of traditionalism that began as the Melanesian Cannibal & Headhunting Front. But we have come a very long way since then – 8921 miles to be precise – and the ECP I want you to vote for in 2015 is a lot more than a one-issue Party.

Now of course, the mainstream media love to present the English Cannibal Party as an organisation with no interests beyond eating people, but this is a laughable caricature of our many eclectic, original and exciting policies as a whole. Let me…

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