Oh for a little of Nigella Lawson’s courtroom brilliance

If I honestly thought that cocaine had the power to gift me as much quick-wittedness and high courage as Nigella Lawson exuded in court this week, I’d have taken it myself whenever I had the opportunity. Of course, I often did have the opportunity, working on glossy magazines, in London offices. There was always someone on the art desk who’d come in whey-faced and dead tired of a morning and not get a grip on tasks until he’d nipped out “for a coffee”, after which he’d cheer up like billy-o.

The bold brilliance Nigella displayed is astonishing even to read in a newspaper; it must have clanged in court like a peal of Stedman Caters on cathedral bells. She tells Karin Arden, defending one of the Grillo sisters, that she, Nigella, is not the one who is on trial here, but a witness for the Crown. Also, referring to her own voluptuousness, “You know as well as I do that regular cocaine users don’t look like this.”

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The Shirk Report – Volume 243

TwistedSifter

the-friday-shirk-report

Welcome to the Shirk Report where you will find the 25 funniest images, 10 most interesting articles, and 5 most viral videos from the previous week of sifting. Most images found on Reddit; articles typically originate from Twitter, RSS and email; videos come from a variety of sources. Any suggestions? Send a note to submit@twistedsifter.com!

*for email subscribers: If you visit the direct link to the shirk report in your web browser (by clicking the blue, underlined title), the videos will play properly and images will appear immediately under the text rather than opening in a new window!

 

25 IMAGES

Dear Santa, How are you? I’m good | link to requested product
Poetry in motion | The exact opposite
This is what happens when snow covers a parking lot
Delicious timelapse of a plaited loaf
The deadliest of all wind instruments
BATH TIME!!!11!1!

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