James' Funnies

Year 2059

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery…

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Middle East news the BBC does not report

BBC Watch

The news that Hamas is running military training sessions in schools in the Gaza Strip was reported by several major media organisations recently, including The Telegraph

“Hamas authorities introduced the ‘Futuwwa’, or youth programme into the state curriculum last September for 37,000 Palestinian boys aged between 15 and 17, conceiving it as a scheme intended to initiate a new generation of Palestinian men in the struggle against Israel.

Izzadine Mohamed, 17, was among the students who attended the weekly school classes, which covered first aid, basic fire fighting skills and how to fire a Kalashnikov rifle. He was also one of 5,000 boys across Gaza who also signed up for an optional two-week camp held at a Hamas military base.”

A photograph included in a recent tweet from Hamas’ Alqassam brigades shows even younger children playing ‘martyrdom’

playing martydom

A former Egyptian minister told a newspaper last week that Hamas…

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THE SATURDAY ESSAY: UKIP – it’s easy when you don’t know how.

The Slog

If you fancy Jeremy Hunt as Prime Minister, vote UKip

The last two days have been, without doubt, the best ever for UKip. They took a quarter of a national vote about local issues – an excellent performance, and one that fits well with their general devolutionary story: ‘UKIP stands for bringing back power to the people; for decisions made locally, not nationally; for common-sense policies that make people’s lives easier, and government that does what the people need, and no more’. I buy into those aims 100%. The only thing that’s missing is the chance for them to show how, with Council control, they can put their aims into practice. This is an important step when you consider what UKip promises to do, given the chance:

• Tax should be as low as possible.
• Protecting the greenbelt – opposing wind farms and HS2.
• Cracking down on crime…

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