I don’t recall ever having a chance to vote for multiculturalism – nor anyone else for that matter.
After floating on the lonely seas, adrift for nearly a century, the world’s oldest message in a bottle has finally been liberated and graced with a Guinness record.
Andrew Leaper, a Scottish skipper aboard the fishing boat Copious, discovered the bottle early April of this year, trapped in his fishing net as he sailed east of Shetland, an island group northeast of the U.K. mainland. The bottle, which reportedly spent 97 years and 309 days at sea, beats the previous world record by more than five years.
Amazingly, it also turns out the exact same boat, the Copious, found the last record-setting message in a bottle. Though Leaper wasn’t at the helm of the boat that time, his friend Mark Anderson hauled in the bottle. “It was an amazing coincidence,” Leaper commented.
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A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to
his Sunday Sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good, clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol ; Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke ; Dead.
The third worm in chocolate syrup ; Dead.
The fourth worm in good, clean soil ; Alive .
So the Minister asked the congregation, What did you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back and quickly raised her hand and said,
As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!
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A little girl asks her Mum,
Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?
Her mum replies No, because she is on heat.
What does that mean? asked the child.
Go and ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.
The little girl goes out to the garage and says,
Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block?
I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat,
and to come ask you.
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog’s backside
with it to disguise the scent, and said ‘Ok,
You can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time
around the block.
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash!
Surprised, Dad asked,
Where is Lulu?… !!!
The little girl said…
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