Humorous Dispassionate

A Queensland farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and
knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door

Is your Dad or your mum home? said the farmer.

No, they went to town.

How about your brother, Howard?Is he here?

No, he went with Mum and Dad.

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one
foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one,
or I can give dad a message.

Well, said the farmer uncomfortably, I really wanted to talk to your Dad.
It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter Susie pregnant.

The boy thought for a moment…

You would have to talk to Dad about that.I know he charges
$500 for the bull and
$50 for the pig,
but I don’t know how much he charges for Howard.

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China News

Deputy Sports Minister Cai Zhenhua has accused judges at the London Olympics of discriminating against Chinese athletes.

A number of decisions have gone against Chinese athletes in cycling and gymnastics, and there was more anger yesterday when hammer thrower Zhang Wenxiu was denied a bronze medal.

“We need to solve the problem now or risk more judges adopting a biased view,” Cai said.

Zhang was originally ranked third in the hammer throw but Germany’s Betty Heidler was later elevated to the bronze position when officials remeasured her fifth throw – which was not initially registered because of technical issues – after the final. China lodged a protest but the jury dismissed it.

The Guangming Dailynewspaper complained of unfair judging. Several papers cited the result in the men’s gymnastics rings event, in which reigning champion Chen Yibing had to settle for silver behind Brazil’s Arthur Zanetti.

“We need to shout…

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allaboutlemon-All Around, In, And Out Of My Own Universe

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.. 

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back..

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be…

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The Olympics are a celebration of everything the Left hates

So tomorrow it’s back to reality. Will we wake up in a different country: one that is sadder, but somehow reassuringly familiar? I confess I was not, to put it mildly, an enthusiast for the idea of having the Games in London. This was primarily because, as a commuter, I was convinced that the city’s infrastructure – which breaks down roughly every 20 minutes under normal rush hour conditions – could not possibly cope with the pressure.

What I had not anticipated was that the spectacularly effective campaign of advance warnings and threats to London’s travelling public would cause so much of its working population to abandon the capital. Thus the evacuation of traditionally depressive, harassed, exhausted Londoners made way for the arrival of a lot of rather sweet, smiley people who turned the city into a very jolly and, momentarily, carefree place.


London 2012 Olympics: crowd rises for Mo Farah, our greatest athlete in the greatest Games

The greatest Olympics of all time came towards a perfect end last night as Mo Farah won his second gold of the London Games.

He was hailed as the greatest runner ever to compete for Britain, as yet another packed stadium crowd of 80,000 roared him across the line after 5,000 metres.

They had screamed and cheered and stood for Farah from the very beginning, when the slender man who was born in Mogadishu, Somalia, came walking into the stadium with his fellow competitors.

He came to Britain at the age of nine, unable to speak a word of English.

Now, Farah was wearing the running vest of Team GB, and there was no doubt of the intense, sincere affection felt for this 29-year-old man as he bounced on his heels on the starting line.