Murder At Wal Mart

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor.

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately called t he police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plot, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared…

(You’re going to hate me for this …)

‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!’


Oh, quit groaning! I don’t write this stuff, I receive it from a warped friend and then decided to show it to you!

PA Pundits - International

By Dr. Laina Farhat-Holzman ~

The definition of “hate crime” is one of those overkill legislative initiatives with unforeseen consequences.  It is noble to recognize that some people commit crimes out of hate, but a murder is a murder, and this should be enough.

How can we possibly know a criminal’s inner thoughts (his hatred for his victim); furthermore, even if we can know this for certain, what difference does it make to the victim? The hatred of the murderer should only reflect upon the ultimate sentencing:  premeditated and aggravated murder.

I recall a case last November in El Cajon, California, in which an Iraqi woman immigrant was found in her home, beaten to death, with a note beside her that warned all “terrorist Arabs” to go back to their countries. This crime was immediately snatched up by the legal arm of the Muslim Brotherhood, CAIR, as an illustration of…

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PA Pundits - International

By Alan Caruba ~

I have always been an optimist. And, I hope, a realist. Of late though, I have been entertaining some pessimist thoughts about the future of America. This runs contrary to one of the enduring attributes of Americans because, like me, they too are optimists.

The great value of national elections is that the issues affecting everyone’s future get discussed. The election of 2008 was an alarming indication of the power of the mainstream media to bamboozle voters. Aided by McCain’s near total lack of charisma or even energy, the media’s wholesale devotion to getting a completely unknown and unvetted Barack Obama elected was and is scary.

One reason for optimism is the way the current campaign to reelect Barack Hussein Obama is struggling to distract voters from the worst record of incompetence of any modern president since Jimmy Carter.

As Obama campaigns non-stop around the nation…

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Beecroft Brings Troubles

MORNING BRIEFING – By Benedict Brogan (Daily Telegraph).

I’m away today. Today’s email was edited by Donata Huggins.

David Cameron might find himself wishing he could fire staff at will today. The fallout from the long postponed Beecroft Report, released yesterday, that recommends “no fault dismissal” of employees, has created fault lines between the Lib Dems and the Tories – and Cameron and his Right wing.

We’ve splashed on leaked documents that show that No 1o doctored the Beecroft Report, removing three proposals that were submitted to No 10 before it was sent to the Business Department.

The report recommended that the Government delay its plans to introduce flexible working for parents, to abandon proposals to allow all workers to request flexible working, and to remove regulations surrounding the employment of children. It states:

“The proposal [flexible parental leave] is very expensive for the Exchequer and will impose significant operational problems on business. The proposal should (preferably) be scrapped or alternatively be deferred until the deficit has been eliminated.”

Vince Cable, who was conveniently unable to attend an Urgent Question on the issue yesterday, has called the plans “bonkers” and said they were developed without any evidence, adding:

“I don’t see the role for that. Britain has already got a very flexible, co-operative labour force…We don’t need to scare the wits out of workers with threats to dismiss them. It’s completely the wrong approach.”

Dave must be fuming – the project is another Steve Hilton’s bombshell. One that No 1o is now saying was a “bit dodgy” and they “wish it had never happened.”

I suspect Dave now agrees with Danny Alexander who joked at the press lunch last week that it’d have been nicer if Steve could have marked his departure by “bringing a cake”.

And worse still for Mr Cameron – the timing is terrible. The row comes just a day after he promised ‘shake up’ government and push through radical reforms.

Dividing lines were plain to see in the Urgent Question debate yesterday. Chuka Umunna called the situation “a shambles,” Lorely Burt, a Lib Dem, said it’d create “a climate of fear” and Conor Burns, a Conservative PPS, said it would lead “to a new focus on deregulation” that could kick start growth. For more information Hansard is available here.

The calm the waters the government is now running a “call for evidence” on a watered-down version of the report.

The FT (£) reports that the Institute of Directors and the CBI have thrown their weight behind the report, while smaller business groups have been more cautious.

COMMENT

In our leader column, we say the report proposes “commonsense measures”, which “go a long way towards lifting the burden of unnecessary regulation…”

“This report deserves to generate a grown-up debate on how best to make it easier for firms to hire and fire employees, while still ensuring that workers have adequate protection. Only tough choices will bring Britain back to economic growth, and Mr Cameron must demonstrate that he is willing to act and not just speak.”

And our sketch writer, Michael Deacon points out that it might be easier to sack people who spend a crazy, scary amount of time playing Fruit Ninja on their iPads.

SOCIALLY MOBILE

And all this happens as Nick Clegg spends another day highlighting social mobility – at least today he’s giving a speech on it at 9am at the Royal Society. On Daybreak this morning he said:

“we’re lifting the lid, if you like, on an absolute scandal, which is that in our country – more than many other countries – where you’re born and what your background is seems to determine your subsequent life.”

“It’s a really deep-seated problem. If you go into the average classroom, one in five children are on free school meals; if you go into the average Oxbridge lecture theatre, one in a hundred will have been on free school meals.”

He will announce a sweeping social mobility strategy intended to break the grip of middle-class families on the best-paid jobs and university places, telling them to recruit people “on the basis of an ability to excel, not purely on previous attainment”.

He will also announce that the Coalition’s social policies will be rated against 17 new indicators, ranging from babies’ birth weight to adults’ job opportunities. For more details read our report here.

MAY DAY FOR UNTIDY GARDENS

And it’s worth noting that Theresa May is finally pushing ahead with “punitive” anti-social behaviour plans by releasing a White Paper and giving a speech at 11am today. The plans were drawn up 15 months ago, but are thought to have been delayed due to tensions in the Coalition.

The plans will include reducing the current 19 different anti-social behaviour powers, including ASBOs, into seven and introduce a “community trigger” giving the public the power to demand the police take action if a complaint over antisocial behaviour is made by five or more households – a measure first suggested by Hazel Blears. .

The plans will also include on-the-spot penalties of up to £100 for householders who dump rubbish in their gardens, the Mail has splashed on this. Miscreants could also be taken to court for refusing to clear away old fridges and sofas. For more information read the Guardian report.

GREEN DAVEY

Ed Davey is out and about today too. The Government is publishing its long-awaited draft energy bill later, designed to encourage investment in clean energy and help increase supply. He’s just been on the Today programme.

In response to the accusation that this is going to bring up energy bills, he said:

“Consumers already pay for infrastructure in their bills… It is a good thing if we can keep the lights on. If we didn’t make these changes, bills would be £200 higher.”

Charles Hendry, the energy minister, told the Telegraph that:

“People shouldn’t think this will bring about a drop in prices when we have £110bn of investment needed to keep the lights on in this country.”

“There’s a cost, but doing it this way we’re delivering that investment at the lowest cost to consumers.”

For more information on how this will increase our energy bills, read our report.

POLL WATCH

The Guardian and the Times (£) have features analysing polling data. Interestingly, the Guardian says Ed is gaining on Dave, while the Times says that Labour is failing to capitalise on the Government’s recent difficulties and the eurozone woes.

The Times also points out that Labour is still behind on the economy, with David Cameron, Nick Clegg and George Osborne trusted as the better economic team – backed by 40 per cent of the public, down two points from March.Ed Miliband and Ed Balls are on 33, up five points.

The Times poll also provides a warning for Eurosceptics and Labour tacticians who are urging a referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union, suggesting that, despite hostility to the EU, the public would not yet back a vote on leaving.

Latest YouGov/The Sun results: Conservatives 32%, Labour 44%, Lib Dems 7%, UKIP 8%

Overall government approval rating: APP -35

Comres leader approval ratings: David Cameron -28, Ed Miliband-19, Nick Clegg is -36

TWEETS AND TWITS

A moment of solidarity with Laurie Penny:

“@PennyRed: And this is why, jus occasionally, reporters get angry with headline-writers – https://t.co/QrlcQIMb

TOP COMMENT

In The Telegraph

Mary Riddell: If Miliband’s latest guru fails, he’ll be left without a prayer

Philip Johnston: How did we allow this killer trade to bloom?

Norman Tebbit: David Cameron is facing make-or-break time

Leader: Tough measures in pursuit of growth

Best of the rest

Gabby Hinsliff in the Guardian: Ed Miliband, you stoke this anti-Europe fire at your peril

Philip Stephens in the Financial Times (£): Cameron has forgotten his first political lesson

Rachel Sylvester in the Times (£): Mind the cracks in Labour’s pavement politics

Dominic Lawson in the Independent: Don’t blame Germany for not wanting to call Europe’s tune

THE AGENDA

Today: Cabinet

9am: Nick Clegg gives a speech on social mobility. Royal Society 6-9 Carlton House Terrace

9.30am: George Osborne and Christine Lagarde are holding a joint press conference as part of the annual visit by the IMF to the UK. HM Treasury, 1 Horse Guards Road, London

9.30am: Inflation figures for April are published by the Office for National Statistics

10am: Alan Johnson MP, Lord Smith and Tom Watson to give evidence to the Leveson Inquiry. Royal Courts of Justice, Strand, London

10.45am: Commons Home Affairs Committee takes evidence from the head of the UK Border Force Brian Moore. House of Commons

11am: Theresa May will give a speech on tackling anti-social behaviour at the Association of Chief Police Officers’ conference. Manchester Central, Manchester

2.30pm: Deputy Prime Minister’s questions

Today: Attorney General’s questions

3pm: Caroline Spelman is to give a speech at the Association of British Insurers annual conference

6.15pm: Francis Maude speech to launch report on Whitehall decision making, Institute for Government, 2 Carlton Gardens

Confessions of an Apple Junkie

What is this world coming to?!

How could this couple even consider something so wrong?

This made me really upset. I hope the child was taken out of their care, because clearly they have no idea how to treat a child!

Viewer discretion is advised.

nb: There is no sound on this clip.

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