Possibly I should be wary of criticising Facebook, in case my actions jeopardise whatever hopes there may be of its boss, Mark Zuckerberg, bailing out the eurozone. (He could probably do it, too. The man uses $100 bills as cat litter.)
But, all the same, I’m going to do it. Facebook is past it. In a few short years it’ll be as sad and lonely a ghost town as MySpace. I don’t speak as a long-standing critic. I speak as a former addict.
Yesterday, when it was floated on the stock market, Facebook was valued at $104 billion (£65.8 billion). That’s the greatest amount of money any US company has been worth on its market debut. Evidently, there are quite a lot of people, some of them very rich, who believe that Facebook is worth investing in. I hope that after buying their shares in Facebook they’ve got some money left over, because I’m hoping they’ll also buy shares in the brilliant new company I’m about to float. It’s a unicorn sanctuary run by Santa.