Retirement trip

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant

for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant..

As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,

While you’re in there, perhaps you’d get my hat, and the credit card.

Haircut

A guy goes for a haircut, so the barber starts to ask him questions about his mother-in-law.

“How is your mother-in-law?

“Fine”, says the guy.

Few snips of hair and another question:

“What is your mother-in-law’s favourite colour?” asks the barber.

“Pink” says the guy.

Another snip or two and another question:

“So, what is your mother-in-laws favourite food?”

“Chicken, but what is with all these questions about my mother-in-law?”

“O, nothing personal, it’s just when I mention her name your hair stands up, so it is easier for me to cut.”