ABCDEFGHIJK

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.  He looked at her for awhile … said, “You’re A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J and K.

She asks … “What does that mean?”

He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.”

She smiled happily and said.. “Oh, that’s so lovely.. What about I, J, K?”

He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Women are great: they don’t need quotas

I love women. Women are great. I’ve married one, I’ve personally bred one and I’ve got lots who are my friends. And after years of close observation, here’s what I’ve concluded: chicks are definitely the superior species. They’re more intuitive, more versatile, more articulate, more competent. Plus, of course, they have breasts.

Given that all this is so, I really don’t understand why David Cameron feels he needs to impose quota systems on boardrooms. Not for the reasons he gives anyway. I could understand it if he said: “Look, I have no shame, no principles, no moral or ideological core in my blubbery, spineless, Heathite body. My Coalition government is run by Lib Dems, a marketing man and focus groups. And what they all tell me is: “Suck up to the female demographic.” So that’s why I’m saying this crap.”

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Quantitative easing: not actually evil

Back in 2009, when the Bank of England first started its quantitative easing programme, Vince Cable denounced it as “Mugabe economics”. George Osborne said it was “the last resort of desperate governments”, adding that “in the end printing money risks losing control of inflation and all the economic problems that high inflation bring”. Quantitative easing, it was implied, would devastate the country. All this free cash #printing money, everyone called it, as though you could still hear the presses rumbling on Threadneedle Street# would set off astonishing inflation; soon we’d be using £5 notes as cigarette papers.

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Greek death spiral accelerates

Another normal day at the Hellenic Statistical Authority.

We learn that:

Greece’s manufacturing output contracted by 15.5pc in December from a year earlier.

Industrial output fell 11.3pc, compared to minus 7.8pc in November.

Unemployment jumped to 20.9pc in November, up from 18.2pc a month earlier.

I have little further to add. This is what a death spiral looks like.

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The rule of law in Britain is diminished by the furore over efforts to deport Abu Qatada to Jordan

It has been very clear for a long time that something has gone wrong with British justice. A succession of Home Secretaries have targeted, at different times, each of the central principles that underlie the national system of law: trial by jury, habeas corpus, free speech, as well as the abiding tenet that there should be a strict separation of powers between the judiciary and the executive.

This magnificent legal inheritance has been a guarantee of freedom and fairness in this country since the Middle Ages. But – as Tuesday’s wretched debate in Parliament about Abu Qatada demonstrates so nicely – this tradition is no longer of interest to the political class.

Abu Qatada certainly seems to be a thoroughly undesirable and nasty piece of work. Tapes of his sermons were discovered in a flat used by one of the Twin Towers bombers. He is accused of being the spiritual leader of al-Qaeda in Europe, and is sought in his native Jordan for an attempt to murder tourists. Not merely that – he is on record as justifying suicide-bombing and, it is said, preaching anti-Semitism.

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