From a friend in the police. Better safe than sorry!




Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public car park. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for petrol. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car.

Then we received this notice yesterday. 


Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating..

You walk across the car park, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine, then put it into Reverse.

When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window.

 So, you stop and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically run you over as they speed off in your car.

And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!


If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, lock your doors and just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this. I hope you will tell your friends and family, especially the women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.
Please tell all your friends.

Thomas Jefferson.

(One or two of these may be disputed or not found.)

When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.

Thomas Jefferson.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

 Thomas Jefferson.

It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it oes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.

 Thomas Jefferson.

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretence of taking care of them.

 Thomas Jefferson.

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. 

 Thomas Jefferson.

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. 

Thomas Jefferson.

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

 Thomas Jefferson.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrant.

 Thomas Jefferson.

To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

 Thomas Jefferson.

 And finally, a very Interesting Quote n light of the present financial crisis, it’s interesting to read what Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:

 ‘I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.

 If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.’

If Tommy Cooper Was Alive Today

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo playing Dancing Queen.

I thought, ‘that’s Aboriginal.’


This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins.

It was a turtle disaster.


I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.

She said, ‘tenpin?’

I said, ‘no, permanent.’


I went in to a pet shop.

I said, ‘I’d like to buy a goldfish?’

The guy said, ‘do you want an aquarium?’

I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it was born under.’


I bought some Armageddon cheese today.

It said on the packet, ‘Best before End’


I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said, ‘analogue.’

I said, ‘no just a watch.’


I went into a shop and I said, ‘can someone sell me a kettle.’

The bloke said, ‘Kenwood?’.

I said, ‘Where is he then?’


My mate is in love with two schoolbags.

He’s bi-satchel.


I went to the doctor and said to him, ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’

He said, ‘you’ve got cholera.’


I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.

I can’t remember his name, but its P something T something R.


I was reading this book today, ‘The History of Glue’.

I couldn’t put it down.


I phoned the local ramblers club today.

The bloke who answered just went on and on.


The recruitment consultant asked me, ‘what do you think of voluntary work?

I said, ‘I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.’


I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener.

I said, ‘you don’t need a tin opener to peel a banana.’

He said, ‘no, this is for the custard.’


This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.

He said, ‘I’m trying to trace someone’.


I told my mum that I’d opened a new theatre.

She said, ‘are you having me on?’

I said, ‘well I’ll give you an audition, but I’m not promising you anything.’


I phoned the local builders today.

I said to them, ‘can I have a skip outside my house?’

He said, ‘I can’t stop you!’


This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and said ‘Audi!’


I fancied a game of darts with my mate.

He said, ‘nearest the bull goes first’

He went, ‘baah’ and I went, ‘Moo’

He said, ‘you’re closest’


I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I’d been promoted.

I was so shocked I swerved the car.

He phoned me again to say I’d been promoted even higher and I swerved again.

He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree.

The police came and asked me what had happened.

I said, ‘I just careered off the road’


I visited the offices of the RSPCA today.

It’s so tiny: you couldn’t even swing a cat in there.


I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.

I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.


I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said ‘Eurostar’

I said, ‘well I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin.


I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.

He said, ‘how flexible are you?’

I said, ‘I can’t make Tuesdays or Thursdays.’


I went to the local video shop and I said, ‘can I borrow ‘Batman Forever’?’

He said, ‘no, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow’


A waiter asks a man, ‘may I take your order, sir?’

‘Yes,’ the man replies. ‘but I’m just wondering, exactly how you prepare your chickens?’

‘Nothing special, sir, we just tell them straight out they’re going to die.’

Abu Hamza could also be bailed after Abu Qatada ruling

Six men, including the hate preacher Abu Hamza, are expected to find out within weeks whether they can be extradited to the US to face terror charges.

But after the Strasbourg judgement that ruled Qatada’s deportation could see evidence obtained under torture used against him, the terror suspects could also be bailed by British judges if European courts find their human rights may be breached in America.

Hamza, who lost his hands in an explosion in Afghanistan and now uses a hook prosthesis on his right arm, was jailed for seven years in the UK for inciting murder at Finsbury Park Mosque in north London.

Because he has completed the sentence, he would be eligible for release if his extradition case collapsed, according to the Daily Mail.

The other men include his trusted associate Haroon Aswat, who is wanted in the States for planning to start a jihadi training camp in Oregon.

Read more….

BBC tells its staff: don’t call Qatada extremist

In order to avoid making a “value judgment”, the corporation’s managers have ruled that he can only be described as “radical”.

Journalists were also cautioned against using images suggesting the preacher is overweight.

A judge ruled this week that the Muslim preacher, once described as “Osama bin Laden’s right-hand man in Europe”, should be released from a British jail, angering ministers and MPs.

Adding to the row, Kenneth Clarke, the Justice Secretary, yesterday insisted that Qatada “has not committed any crime” and said his release has nothing to do with the European Court of Human Rights.

A British court has called Qatada a “truly dangerous individual” and even his defence team has suggested he poses a “grave risk” to national security.


Pensioners ‘passed like parcels’ by care agencies

Up to 1.20 million frail and vulnerable patients are seeing their quality of life diminished because of a “salami slicing” of services and a failure to integrate health and social care, a report by the Commons health committee says.

Unless the Government takes dramatic action to overhaul the system, there will be “serious consequences for standards”, the committee warns.

Thousands of elderly people are forced to sell their homes or use savings to pay care bills every year, while sons and daughters of the frail often have to quit their jobs to look after their parents.

Read more….

Syria: Nearly 50 die overnight in Homs

The accusation came as Russia’s foreign minister claimed to have won a promise of a “cessation” of violence on Tuesday after meeting Mr Assad in Syria.

But Sergei Lavrov’s words were immediately undermined as the regime’s bombardment of Homs, the epicentre of the rebellion against Mr Assad, moved into its fifth day.

At least 150 people are believed to have died in Syria in the last 48 hours. Today Reuters news agency spoke to an activist who said at least 47 people are believed to have died in Homs since midnight.

“Electricity returned briefly and we were able to contact various neighbourhoods because activists there managed to recharge their phones. We counted 47 killed since midnight,” Mohammad Hassan said by satellite phone.

Activist Karam Abu Rabea told The Guardian the bombardment was the regime playing its last card.

Read more….