A Gift Too Far (2 of 4)

This is the second poem written on this rather interesting theme and it followed on quite quickly from the first. K initially failed to acknowledge these poems, which I had sent to him in N.E Lincolnshire, UK, from my home in The Canary Isles, and I had put this down to his mild tendency to absent mindedness. However, when I was able to tackle him, during one of my frequent – (though not frequent enough) – visits to his home, he told me that he had intended to respond in ‘kind’.

MORAL OF THE STORY – You can choose your friends but not your relatives.

A Gift Too Far.

 ‘Well proportioned colostomy bag…’
The advert read in the local rag,
‘Is neatly tailored and fairly sound…’
Yet odd to see in the ‘Lost and Found’!

‘With a little clean up,’ thought Richard,
‘Possible gift for Dad’s sixty-third’
Not always a very big spender
Then neither was his sister, Brenda.

Added-value would sweeten the pot,
High-tech. add-ons would not cost a lot.
She’d decorate with no objections
If he would fit the cardboard sections.

Largely cleared of residual mould,
Finished, at last – a sight to behold.
A zipped division to hold his change,
Though in that spot still a hint of mange.

A calculator and file-o-fax
All separate with cards in their packs,
Condoms and Izal discretely placed –
All closed deftly with draw-cords of lace.

Dad would be delighted, thought the two,
But did not bargain for what he’d do:
Wholesale changes Dad made with rigour,
Then stuffed the pouch with grams of Digger.

(With apologies to any manufacturers of toilet paper and tobacco products mentioned.)

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About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

7 thoughts on “A Gift Too Far (2 of 4)

  1. Absolutely pent subject matter, thank you for information. “He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak.” by Michel de Montaigne.

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