CELTIC AND RANGERS
On a tour ofScotland, the Queen took a couple of days off to visit the west coast.
Her Range Rover was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Queen noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing a Glasgow Celtic jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Glasgow Rangers tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs,
immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Celtic fan from the water and using long clubs to beat the shark to death They bundled the bleeding,
semi-conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and were preparing for a hasty retreat when they heard frantic calling from the shore…… It was the Queen
calling them to the beach.
On reaching land the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said, “I’ll give you all a knighthood for your brave actions. I heard that the people of Scotland were
bigoted and trying to divide the country in two but now I see this is a truly enlightened example of tribal harmony which could serve as a model for other nations.”
She knighted them all and drove off.
As she departed the harpoonist asked the others: “Who was that?!”
“That,” one answered, “was the Queen. She rules Britain and knows everything about our country.”
“Well,” the harpoonist replied, “she knows frig all about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up Ok? or do we need to get another one?