The Senior Alphabet!
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won’t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let’s be a bit more realistic instead.
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
“Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name?
“Morris Feinberg,” he replied.
“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.”
“I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.”
“I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man.”
“I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.”
“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”
“Like I’m talking to a f***ing wall.”
Men Teaching Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By July 31, 2014
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.
Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Learning to Live
How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
“Wow this is great” he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight – lots of other bunny rabbits all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
“Hey” he called. “I’m a rabbit from the laboratory and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?”
“Yes. Come and join us,” they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. “What else do you wild rabbits do?” he asked.
“Well” one of them said, “you see that field there? It’s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.” This he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful.
Later he asked them again”What else do you do?”
“You see that field there? It’s got lettuce growing in it. We eat that as well.” The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later full to bursting.
“It’s fantastic out here in the world,” he told them.
“So are you going to live with us then?” one of them asked.
“I’m sorry. I had a great time but I can’t.” The wild rabbits all stared at him in surprise!
“Why? We thought you liked it here.”
“I do” the rabbit replied. “But I must get back to the lab. I’m just gasping for a cigarette.”
December 2012 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening From CATSA :