Doctor’s Remedy

1A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband’s temper.

The Doctor asks: “What’s the problem?”

The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.”

The Doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing the water in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or goes to bed and is asleep.”

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. The woman says: “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”

The Doctor says: “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick….”

Latest News From Social Security

1نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره
ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه. ر رفت
نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي
دان نور اگر رفت سايه. ر رفت ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان
نور اگر رفت سايه پيدانيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ماسايه
ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه پيدانيست نقش
ديوار و چشم خيره ماپيدا

نيست نقش

Necrophilia

A man was brought before the judge and charged with NECROPHILIA (making love to a dead person).1The judge told him, “In 20 years on the bench, I’ve never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn’t lock you up and throw away the keys?”

The man replied, “I’ll give you THREE good reasons:

1. She was my WIFE!!!
2. I didn’t KNOW she was DEAD!!! and
3. She ALWAYS acted that WAY!!!”

The Judge found him NOT GUILTY and cautioned everyone at the Court Room:
ladies try to MOVE A LITTLE DURING THE GAME…!!!

“And guys if there is no reaction STOP IMMEDIATELY AND CHECK SHE IS STILL ALIVE…!!!”

The Stimulus Package

Here’s a fabulous explanation of the symbiosis between “loneliness” & “poverty”. .

When your kids (or grand kids) ask you why they have to study or work hard all their life and continue making money, show them these pictures of Brian Armastrongo, President of Renault, and his current girlfriend below.

1 2 3

And then explain that this is not a ‘love relationship” but a “hate relationship”.

HE HATES BEING LONELY… AND SHE HATES POVERTY!!

AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW A REAL STIMULUS PACKAGE WORKS!

World War 111: The Planning Stage. (ADULT and P I/C)

Prime Minister Cameron and President Obama are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, ‘Isn’t that Cameron and Obama sitting over there?’

The bartender says, ‘Yep, that’s them.’

So the guy walks over and says, ‘Wow, this is a real honour! What are you guys doing in here?’

Cameron says, ‘We’re planning WW III.’

The guy says, ‘Really? What’s going to happen?’

Obama says, ‘Well, we’re going to wipe out the Middle East and one blonde with big tits.’

The guy exclaimed, ‘A blonde with big tits?

3Why kill a blonde with big tits?’

Cameron turns to Obama and says, ‘See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the Middle East.