Paddy and Mick get a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.
They bag six.
As Paddy and Mick start loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot says, “The plane can only take four of those.”
The two lads object strongly. “Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours.”
Reluctantly, the pilot gives in and all six are loaded.
However, even with full power, the little plane can’t handle the load and down it goes and crashes in the middle of nowhere.
A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asks Mick,
“Any idea where we are?”
“I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year,” says Mick.
Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.
Mick: “What if one explodes before we get there?”
Paddy: “We’ll lie and say we only found two”!
Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on a Friday this year”
Mick says “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
Joe says to Paddy: “Close your curtains the next time you’re having sex with your wife.
The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.
“Paddy says: “Well the joke’s on them because I wasn’t even at home yesterday”!
Mick walks into Paddy’s barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says, “Oh no, Paddy, what ya doing?”
Paddy says, “Well me and Mary haven’t been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter…..
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tons of sand from the Arabs and they’re going to drill for their own oil.
Paddy says to Mick – I’m ready for a holiday, only this year I’m going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks – So what are you going to do this year?
Paddy replies, – I’ll take her with me