About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

A Woman Scorned

Once upon a time, there was a woman who arrived at the Gates of Heaven.

While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began shouting greetings to her: “Hello! How are you? You made it! We’ve been waiting for you! Really good to see you.”

When Saint Peter came by, the woman peeked through the gate and said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her.

“Which word?” the woman asked.

“Love.”

The woman promptly, correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter approached the woman and asked her to stand in and watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

“Well, whatdya know! I’m really surprised to see you” the woman exclaimed. “How have you been?”

“Oh, I’d been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband replied. “I married the beautiful, young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my new wife and I have been traveling all around the world. In fact, we were on vacation in Cancun when I went water-skiing and fell. I think I hit my head on something, so here I am. What a bummer! Anyway, how do I get in?”

“You have to spell a word,” the woman told him.

“Which word?” her husband asked.

“Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis,” she replied.

(Fyi the longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, the lung-disease condition is a whopping 45 letters!)

Moral of the story:
Never make a woman angry or there will be Hell to pay.

‘Today’s Slavery’

Originally posted on GMB AKASH:

The sound of Monu’s footsteps compel us to look at him. It seems he is willingly trying to make the strange sound grab our attention towards his new gum boots. Before I speak to him, he shows all his teeth and enthusiastically says, ‘Bhaijan I bought them for 200 taka from the street. Bou (his wife) had washed them so well that I can see my face in them! Ha! Ha! Ha’

Before I compliment him something someone on my right side, Nibaron, who is Monu’s colleague of 15 years loudly said, ‘Hmm, does your new wife, still cry for you to drop the job, Monu?’ Monu recklessly replies, ‘Women are fools! She thinks tannery labourers die earlier. Allah is the one to decide. Women are crying party. Now I have these gum boots to protect me. She is happy and I am happy too!’

Monu got married to ‘Salma’…

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Turkey’s Bad Joke: Crocodile Tears for Victims of Holocaust

It all looks nice. It isn’t.

On Muslim Brotherhood channels based in Turkey, Egyptian clerics and commentators called for the murder of Egypt’s President Abdel Fatteh al-Sisi and the journalists who support him.

Under the nice wrappings of Holocaust Remembrance Day, there is an entirely different Turkey.

Perhaps he thinks the Holocaust, too, happened because of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict.

More…