About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

So you think you’re computer-illiterate? – 1

Originally posted on James' Funnies:

Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.
AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled…

View original 37 more words

Pope’s Illness

Originally posted on Joke for today:

The Pope was very ill, and nobody could cure him.
The cardinals called in an old physician recommended to them.
After an hour long examination, he comes up with a solution.
“I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
The bad news: The Pope has a rare testicular disorder.
The good news: “He can be cured…..with sex.”

View original 101 more words

Great Dance Routine: James Cagney and Bob Hope

TWO OLD GUYS DANCING

James Cagney and Bob Hope at a Friar’s Club meeting back when actors were real performers. Bob Hope was 52 and James Cagney was 56.

Back in the days of reasonable innocence, the year was 1955.

For the young folks, here is something you’ve probably never seen before and, unfortunately, you may never see again.

For us older folks, this is the best of the best, and we had it for many years! This is a side of these two entertainers you hardly ever saw,
but it shows you their enormous talent. Bob Hope, the  best of comedians, and James Cagney, mostly cast as the bad guy, a gangster in the movies.

How the west is complicit in Islamic Jew-hatred

The violence against the Jews of France, which has escalated as feelings have boiled over against the war in Gaza, is shocking and terrifying.

A mob of mainly Muslim demonstrators in Paris, reportedly armed with knives, axes and iron bars and chanting “Death to the Jews,” tried on Sunday to storm the Don Isaac Abarvanel Synagogue within which nearly 200 congregants were praying for the safety of Israel.

The attackers were kept at bay by members of Jewish defense organizations. A French Jewish journalist said: “Thank God they were there, because the protesters had murder on their minds and it took awhile before police reinforcements arrived.”

More…

American Football And The Blonde

99999Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best — because it makes American football make sense.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was…
‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’
I’m like….Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!”

This Is the Most Conservative Restaurant in America , And You Would Love to Eat There

 

One restaurant in Colorado is anything but a “gun free zone.” But from the looks of it, on top of serving delicious food, it’s probably the safest restaurant in America, too.

How many liberals do you think would be annoyed to see their waitress packing heat? (See Below) This is why I consider Shooters Grill (in the properly named city of “Rifle”) to be my favorite new restaurant.

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When waitress Ashlee Saenz takes your order at Shooters Grill in Rifle, she not only carries a pad and pen — she also packs a loaded Ruger .357 Blackhawk handgun holstered on her leg, Old West style.

It’s loaded and she knows how to use it.

Saenz and her co-workers, along with customers who come into Shooters, are encouraged by Shooters’ owners to pack heat in the restaurant, as allowed by Colorado law.

The restaurant also hosts concealed carry training — the $75 price tag includes dinner — that qualifies customers for Colorado and Utah permits.

In a nation torn in recent years by emotional Second Amendment debates, fueled in part by mass shootings, there’s no such controversy in this town of 9,200 that’s centered in ranch and natural gas country.

A sign on the front door of Shooters Grill reads, “Guns are welcome on premises. Please keep all weapons holstered, unless the need arises. In such cases, judicious marksmanship is appreciated.”

Shooters owner Lauren Boebert of Rifle said she is simply allowing customers and employees to exercise their constitutional right.

“We encourage it, and the customers love that they can come here and express their rights,” Boebert said. “This country was founded on our freedom. People can come in carrying their gun, and they can pray over their food.”

NO ALCOHOL, ‘GUNS ALL OVER’

Boebert was born in Florida , raised in Aurora and moved to Rifle in 2003, where she met her husband, Jayson. They decided to open a restaurant a little more than a year ago and tried to come up with a good name that would suit the town.

“I consulted with my Christian friends and everyone said ‘Shooters’ sounded like a bar or a strip joint,” Lauren Boebert said with a laugh. “But I thought, this is Rifle — it was founded around guns and the Old West. We called it Shooters and started throwing guns and Jesus all over the place.”

The decor of Shooters — which offers American and Mexican fare and does not serve alcohol — is decidedly Old West, with guns and cowboy art on the walls, a rough-hewn woody look and three large silver crosses that reflect Boebert’s strong religious faith.

Customers on a recent morning had no problem with the gun presence. Here is what the sign in the front window looks like:

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Hamass Absurd War against Israel

What we are witnessing is Israel engaged in a struggle against Hamas, against Palestinians, against Arabs, against Muslims, and against an expanding body of opinion in the West that is less and less inhibited from displaying the rancid anti-Semitism behind its support for those who openly call for another Holocaust for the Jews.

Gaza was returned to the Palestinians in 2005 as a test for building trust.

This verse [31:27 ] means that no one Muslim should claim that he has a monopoly over the reading of the Quran, for that would amount to reducing the majesty of God to the smallness of man.

The sound of battle is louder than the call to prayer.

More….