About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

In the Kingdom of Thailand

In the original native culture of Thailand , when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following virility ceremony:

They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward. A beautiful young naked girl kneels over the ankles of each of the men.

She places a blob of honey and various crushed sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies and insects.

(This also keeps them off his face during the ceremony)

A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful naked girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance in the centre of the circle.

As soon as all the men become fully aroused, the kneeling girls then reach over the knees, pull the erect penises downwards as much as they can and then, on a given signal from the dancer, release them.

The men’s’ penises would then spring back up and go “WHAP!” against their belly buttons.

This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity . . . The man who killed the most flies was elected to the court of the King.

And that, folks, is why the capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok .

I bet you never knew this.

ISIS Causes Bafflement: a Reasonable Response to a Barbarian Upsurge

Why do American diplomats sign their essays Anonymous whenever they have something large and upsetting to say? Why not Publius? It was Anonymous, anyway, who published a commentary on the Islamic State in the New York Review of Books of August 13—Anonymous, who is said, by the editors, to be “formerly an official of a NATO country,” which could mean Canada, of course, or Estonia. But the United States does seem probable. And Anonymous is said to be someone with “wide experience in the Middle East.” An expert, therefore, accustomed to the sobrieties of power. Anonymous, then—how does Anonymous account for the Islamic State? With what analysis? Anonymous is at a loss. Anonymous confesses to “bafflement.” This is large, and it is upsetting.

We like to suppose that known patterns of behavior dominate the world, which means that, if a big revolutionary movement has arisen, the normal and predictable causes must surely be at work; and the bigger the movement, the more normal and predictable the causes. The Islamic State consists of tens of thousands of jihadis with oil revenues and a functioning bureaucracy and a hip media, ruling vast portions of Syria and Iraq, even apart from its noncontiguous provinces in Africa, which adds up to more than big. But the normal and predictable causes that account for revolutionary movements (national grievances, experience of national humiliation, economic suffering, peasant hatred for cities, proletarian hatred for aristocrats, charismatic leaders, etc.) seem insufficient to explain these developments, or entirely inapplicable. Nor can the movement’s successes be attributed to the well-established strategies of successful military insurgencies of the past, as memorialized by Mao Zedong and the grand theorists of guerrilla war. The Islamic State and its variously-named predecessor organizations in Iraq have sometimes behaved as if entirely unaware of the doctrines of guerrilla war, and have sustained major and unnecessary losses. But losses appear to do them no harm at all.

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The New Racists: Jew Hate

(The outcome changed after this article was written, but the sentiments still stand.)

Are you a performer who wishes to appear in public at any point in the future? If so, you might have to bone up on geopolitical affairs — and then ensure that you have all the “correct” views. If you had thought that the only qualification you would need would be to excel at your chosen art form and then see if you can gather audiences, you were wrong. That is not enough anymore — certainly not if you are Jewish.

This week the news came in that a Spanish music festival had cancelled a planned performance by Matisyahu, an American reggae star. Matisyahu became famous as the “hassidic reggae star,” although he left Orthodox Judaism in 2011. He no longer has a beard of wears a skullcap, but he does remain proud of his Jewish identity. Next weekend, on August 22, he was due to perform at the Rototom Sunsplash festival in Benicassim, north of Valencia.

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Looking Ahead at Middle East “Peace”

According to the deputy head of UNRWA, the organization needs $101 million in order to open schools on time. Why does the Hamas government not pay for its own children to go to school? And why does the Hamas government not pay for the repair of its own people’s houses? UNRWA and the U.S. government seem to believe that the PA and Hamas cannot be expected to spend their own funds — or donated funds — on the needs of their own people. Hamas can therefore use all its funds to make war.

As long as Hamas and the PA are permitted both to spend sponsors’ money on terrorism and warfare while escaping responsibility for the needs of their people, and as long as Iran is a key donor — with all the temptations, means and opportunity to “wipe Israel,” as it repeatedly threatens to do — the idea of a U.S.-led “peace process” is fantasy.

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The invasion of Europe and America

Europe is on the verge of descending into utter chaos. Reuters reported that “thousands of migrants stormed across Macedonia’s border on Saturday, overwhelming security forces who threw stun grenades and lashed out with batons before apparently abandoning a bid to stem their flow through the Balkans to western Europe.”

These thousands of Muslim “refugees,” most of them from the jihad hotspots of Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq, have been pouring into Greece and the Balkans in huge numbers for some time now. But they do not, of course, want to stay in Greece, Macedonia and Serbia. They want to reach the European Union: primarily Germany, France and Britain.

More of these “refugees” arrive every day.Media reports of this Muslim invasion focus on the crying women and children, who seem to have been deliberately brought to the front of the crowd. Clearly the vast majority of these “migrants” are men, and in any case, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t you take the women, and especially the children, to the side so that they wouldn’t get hurt in clashes with police? Instead, they are used as human shields.

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Abbas Builds Himself a $13 Million Royal Palace

Palestinian Authority (PA) chairman Mahmoud Abbas is building a $13 million palace for himself in Ramallah, the PA governmental seat in Samaria, as revealed in an official website recently.

The Palestinian Economic Council for Development and Reconstruction (PECDAR) official website published an announcement of the massive construction project.

PECDAR, established by the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) terror group in 1993 as part of the Oslo Accords, posted “The Presidential Guest Palace in Surda, Ramallah” as a two year project. Abbas often refers to himself as the “president of Palestine,” leaving no doubts that the palace is indeed intended for his luxury.

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