About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

Pink hues at dusk – Ajaytao

Originally posted on Ajaytao 2010:

Pink hues at dusk - Ajaytao

Pink hues at dusk – Ajaytao

It’s at dusk with the setting of the sun
that unimportant memories of the day are forgotten
and old ones trickle back slowly
It’s in the brief seconds of twilight
that dreams and reality mesh
never truly revealing which is leaving you
This blissful ignorance is riddled with
false hope which never lasts

In the fog of an overtired mind a light appears
and guides the memory to wander a little further
Revealing a faith lost to this world
In this fleeting dusk I forget how this all ends
and I’m ok with lying to myself

Rachel Diane

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How the Media Is Helping Hamas

“We know that Hamas uses human shields. But why would you report this when you are sitting in the middle of the Gaza Strip, surrounded by Hamas gunmen?” — Reporter covering the war, who asked not to be identified.

Besides the human shields story there is another item that the international media choose to ignore: the extrajudicial execution of Palestinian “collaborators” during the last two weeks. The executions were reportedly carried out in the most brutal manner. Hamas has also been shooting suspected “collaborators” in the legs to prevent them from moving around.

It is the media that is helping Hamas get away with war crimes.

More…

This is NOT stainless steel

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Recession? What recession?

So, it seems that this “global recession” has not impacted negatively on everyone.

Check this out!

It’s a Mercedes Benz owned by an Abu Dhabi oil billionaire (naturally)

Featuring the newly developed V10 quad turbo with 1,600 horsepower and 2800nm of torque.

0-100km/h in less than 2secs, 1/4 mile in 6.89 secs running on biofuel.

That is NOT stainless steel, it is WHITE GOLD!

I’m sure you’ll sleep better tonight, knowing that the money you’re paying for fuel these days is at least going to a good cause…

Islamic Dancing Rules

99999A Muslim couple, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counseling. He asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, “We realise it’s a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.

But, at our wedding reception, we’d like your permission to dance together.”

“Absolutely not,” says the Mullah. “It’s immoral. Men and women always dance separately.”

“So, after the ceremony, I can’t even dance with my own wife?” says the man.

“No,” answered the Mullah, “It’s forbidden in Islam.”

“Well, okay,” says the man, “What about sex? Can we finally have sex?”

“Of course,” replies the Mullah, “Sex is OK within marriage, to have children.”

“What about different positions?” asks the man.

“No problem,” says the Mullah.

“Woman on top?”

“Sure,” says the Mullah. “Go for it.”

“Doggy style?”

“Sure.”

“On the kitchen table?” “Yes, yes.”

“Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porn video?”

“You may indeed.”

“Can we do it standing up?”

“Absolutely not.” says the Mullah.”

“Why not?” asks the man.

“It could lead to dancing.”

UNRWA’s Latest Complicity With Terrorists: Booby-Trapped Health Clinic

UNRWA has more ‘splaining to do.Three Israeli soldiers were killed Wednesday when explosives detonated within a booby-trapped UN building in Khan Younis, Gaza.An elite IDF tunnel unit was in the process of uncovering an opening to a Hamas tunnel located at an UNRWA United Nations Relief and Works Agency For Palestine Refugees health clinic when all of a sudden, the explosives detonated, causing the entirety of the building to fall on top of the soldiers.

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IDF Soldier Helps Chained & Starving Palestinian Man In Gaza by Israel Muse

Well, if you thought the stories about the Hamas were not true regarding the forcing of Palestinian civilians to stay in the locations where the IDF will strike, think again…actually in this case you don’t need to think, just look.

This is a Palestinian civilian of Gaza who apparently has a mental disorder and who was found by an IDF soldier, bound, gagged and staved. This is a tactic of the Hamas. He would have eventually died from either starvation or an IDF strike on this location if it contained terrorists or weapons, which is what the Hamas wanted to happen.

More…

Death Will Surely Follow

Originally posted on silentlyheardonce:

Yahoo Image

Yahoo Image

in the dawn
the sun rose
the ocean warmed and glisten
the plains flourished and bloomed
orcas and dolphins danced and frolicked
buffaloes grazed and stallions raced in the wind

Yahoo Image

Yahoo Image

at noon
the sun’s glow brightened
the ocean tides rolled out
the fruit upon the plains ripen
orcas hunted and dolphins entertain
buffaloes corralled and stallions plowed

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Yahoo Image

in the evening
the sun shine dimmed
across the ocean vessels traveled
vegetation whither
orcas and dolphins were slippery black
buffalo blood stained the plains
stallions toil and labor without rest

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Yahoo Image

in the night
the sun set and the moon glowed
the ocean screamed in turbulence
the plains were trampled upon
and fruits were scarce
the orcas, the dolphins
the cattle, the herds
were becoming extinct

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Yahoo Image

when the new morning came
the human reaper glared
taxing life-sustaining liquid
choosing who will perish by…

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BBC Newsnight’s Emily Maitlis to Israeli spokesman: “You killed them”

Originally posted on BBC Watch:

On the afternoon of July 24th an UNRWA school in Beit Hanoun where many Palestinians were sheltering was hit by projectiles of origins as yet unknown. Some sixteen people were killed and many injured. It is not yet clear exactly what happened there and the incident is under investigation by the IDF. What is known, however, is that the vicinity of the school had been previously used by terrorists to fire missiles into Israel, apparently with some falling short. Because of that fact, the IDF had advised UNRWA to evacuate the civilians from that school and a four-hour humanitarian corridor had been agreed. Although UNWRA representatives claimed differently – at least one eyewitness seems to suggest that an evacuation was planned.Maitlis

“Sabah Kafarna, 35, had also been sheltering at the school. “At about 11.30 someone from the municipality came to tell us that we were going to be…

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