About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

Shell Oil Comments – A MUST READ!

Safety Alert!

Here’s some reasons why we don’t allow cell phones in operating areas, propylene oxide handling and storage area, propane, gas and diesel refueling areas.

The Shell Oil Company recently issued a warning after three incidents in which mobile phones (cell phones) ignited fumes during fueling operations.

In the first case, the phone was placed on the car’s trunk lid during fueling; it rang and the ensuing fire destroyed the car and the gasoline pump.

In the second, an individual suffered severe burns to their face when fumes ignited as they answered a call while refueling their car!

And in the third, an individual suffered burns to the thigh and groin as fumes ignited when the phone, which was in their pocket, rang while they were fueling their car. Mobile phones that light up when switched on or when they ring release enough energy to provide a spark for ignition

Mobile phones should not be used in filling stations, or when fueling lawn mowers, boat, etc.

Mobile phones should not be used, or should be turned off, around other materials that generate flammable or explosive fumes or dust, (I.e., solvents, chemicals, gases, grain dust, etc…)

TO sum it up, here are the Four Rules for Safe Refueling:

1) Turn off engine

2) Don’t smoke

3) Don’t use your cell phone – leave it inside the vehicle or turn it off

4) Don’t re-enter your vehicle during fueling.

Bob Renkes of Petroleum Equipment Institute is working on a campaign to try and make people aware of fires as a result of ‘static electricity’ at gas pumps. His company has researched 150 cases of these fires. His results were very surprising:

1) Out of 150 cases, almost all of them were women.

2) Almost all cases involved the person getting back in their vehicle while the nozzle was still pumping gas. When finished, they went back to pull the nozzle out and the fire started, as a result of static.

3) Most had on rubber-soled shoes.

4) Most men never get back in their vehicle until completely finished. This is why they are seldom involved in these types of fires.

5) Don’t ever use cell phones when pumping gas

6) It is the vapors that come out of the gas that cause the fire, when connected with static charges.

7) There were 29 fires where the vehicle was re-entered and the nozzle was touched during refueling from a variety of makes and models. Some resulted in extensive damage to the vehicle, to the station, and to the customer.

8) Seventeen fires occurred before, during or immediately after the gas cap was removed and before fueling began.

Mr. Renkes stresses to NEVER get back into your vehicle while filling it with gas. If you absolutely HAVE to get in your vehicle while the gas is pumping, make sure you get out, close the door TOUCHING THE METAL, before you ever pull the nozzle out. This way the static from your body will be discharged before you ever remove the nozzle. As I mentioned earlier, The Petroleum Equipment Institute, along with several other companies now, are really trying to make the public aware of this danger.

I ask you to please send this information to ALL your family and friends, especially those who have kids in the car with them while pumping gas. If this were to happen to them, they may not be able to get the children out in time.

Thanks for passing this along.

Quick Thinking

9999If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility ……

Q: ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’

A: ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’

Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’

A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’

Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’

A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’

Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’

A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’

Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’

A: ‘Yes, sir, I do.’

Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’

A: ‘Yes, sir.’

Q: ‘Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’

A: ‘You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year’s ‘Best Comeback’ line — and we think he’ll win.

Hibiscus rosa-sinensis – Hibiscus – Ajaytao

Originally posted on Ajaytao Botanical Photography:

Yellow Hibiscus - Ajaytao

Yellow Hibiscus – Ajaytao

Common name:China Rose, Chinese hibiscus, Ambashthaki, Bissap, Gongura, Groseille de Guinée, Guinea Sorrel, Hibisco, Hibiscus Calyx, Hibiscus sabdariffa, Jamaica Sorrel, Karkadé, Oseille de Guinée, Oseille Rouge, Pulicha Keerai, Red Sorrel, Red Tea, Rosa de Jamaica, Roselle, So

Hindi: Gurhal गुढ़ल, Manipuri: জুবা কুসুম Juba kusum
Marathi: Jaswand जासवंद,Konkani: Dosni Phool दोस्णि फुल

Botanical name:Hibiscus rosa-sinensis
Family: Malvaceae (mallow family)
Tribe: Hibisceae
Genus: Hibiscus
Species: H. rosa-sinensis

Hibiscus are large shrubs or small trees that produce huge, colorful, trumpet-shaped flowers over a long season. Hibiscus are deciduous shrubs with dark green leaves; the plants can grow to 15 feet tall in frost-free areas. Flowers may be up to 6 inches diameter, with colors ranging from yellow to peach to red. Hibiscus can be planted singly or grown as a hedge…

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Origami Brought to a Whole New Level

Stunning Origami Creations.

Origami is the traditional Japanese art of paper folding, which started in the 17th century AD at the latest and was popularized outside of Japan in the mid-1900s. It has since then evolved into a modern art form.

The goal of this art is to transform a flat sheet of paper into a finished sculpture through folding and sculpting techniques, and as such the use of cuts or glue are not considered to be origami. But in the right hands, Origami can be no less a work of art than any painting. The gentle precision of the folds, the creativity and the beauty of it make it a well respected art form.

More…

ISIS Burns a 1,800 Year-old Judeo-Christian Church in Mosul Iraq Dating Back to Earliest Christians

Originally posted on sharia unveiled:

ISIS - Mosul Church 2

Chaldean Cathedral, 1,800-year-old Syriac Catholic Archdiocese in Mosul

by, Ammon News | h/t Trop

Militants from the radical jihadist group the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria have set fire to a 1,800-year-old church in Iraq’s second largest city of Mosul, a photo released Saturday shows.

The burning of the church is the latest in a series of destruction of Christian property in Mosul, which was taken by the Islamist rebels last month, along with other swathes of Iraqi territory.

A video posted on YouTube July 9 shows a tomb being destroyed with a sledgehammer which government officials said was “almost certainly” the tomb of Biblical prophet Jonah.

Earlier, Mosul’s Christians fled the city en masse before a Saturday deadline issued by the al-Qaeda-inspired Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) for them to either convert to Islam, pay tax, leave or be killed.

Al Arabiya correspondent in Iraq Majid…

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不完全真實的田中車站

Originally posted on amateur commune 素人公社:

2014-07-21 20.17.30-800

其實這張不完全真實, 列車停在某一車站, 我透過大片玻璃盡可能地將外面月台的景像記在腦海中, 然後再憑記憶去畫. 那天列車經過太多車站, 腦海中印象紛亂, 最後再寫上田中站的名稱. 想不到這樣在疾駛之間也能對窗外寫生 :)

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Peace Dispute of Israel vs Hamas with World’s Aid to Begin

Originally posted on Beyond the Cusp:

Israel is about to face an antagonistic force even more diabolical and sinister than any of the terrorists even including Hamas, Islamic Jihad, ISIS and the rest of the terrorist stew which operates out of Gaza. These are two political individuals and their assistants and assigned experts in order to forge an end to the violence and bring peace to Gaza and Israel, or at least that is the newswire story being broadcast and printed across the Western media. The first of these two forces of underwhelming impartiality and unremitting arrogance is United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon who recently in comments about the current Hamas Israel conflict admonished Israel, and only Israel, to “Israel must exercise maximum restraint and do far more to protect civilians,” adding that it also “must respect the humanitarian law” and further while referring to the heavy fighting between Israel and Hamas “While I was…

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Guardian op-ed mocks “claims” of Hamas use of human shields

Originally posted on CiF Watch:

 The strap line of a recent Guardianop-ed by Richard Seymour (a blogger at Lenin’s tomb) says it all.

oped

Here’s the entire post:

They hid at the El-Wafa hospital.

They hid at the Al-Aqsa hospital.

They hid at the beach, where children played football.

They hid at the yard of 75-year-old Muhammad Hamad.

They hid among the residential quarters of Shujaya.

They hid in the neighbourhoods of Zaytoun and Toffah.

They hid in Rafah and Khan Younis.

They hid in the home of the Qassan family.

They hid in the home of the poet, Othman Hussein.

They hid in the village of Khuzaa.

They hid in the thousands of houses damaged or destroyed.

They hid in 84 schools and 23 medical facilities.

They hid in a cafe, where Gazans were watching the World Cup.

They hid in the ambulances trying to retrieve the injured.

They hid themselves in 24 corpses, buried…

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‘Unimaginable Restraint’ of Israeli Military — IDF “should be given the Nobel Peace Prize”

Originally posted on Peace and Freedom:

Addressing Christian supporters, ambassador to the US says ‘Israeli soldiers are dying so that innocent Palestinians can live’

July 22, 2014,
Israel's ambassador to Washington, Ron Dermer, formerly senior adviser to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (photo credit: Miriam Alster/Flash90)
.
Israel’s ambassador to Washington, Ron Dermer, formerly senior adviser to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (photo credit: Miriam Alster/Flash90)
.

The Israeli army should be given the Nobel Peace Prize for its “unimaginable restraint” in Gaza, Israel’s ambassador to the United States, Ron Dermer, said Tuesday.

Get The Times of Israel’s Daily…

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One morning in Jerusalem

Originally posted on nomadruss in words and photos:

Jerusalem, O Best Beloved, how quiet you are within the city walls.

Until the missiles came and thudded in the distance.

On this morning, last November, the streets were still quiet in the early morning. I stood in one place and watched the morning come. The light cast its long shadows as people sleepily walked towards the activities of the day.

Today it may look the same.

Though now hearts are burdened.

Another missile thuds in the distance.

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