The Art Of Language By A Seasoned Lawyer

Photo Credit – sanjuanco.com

Gotta admit, this one made me laugh. It’s one of the best “lawyer” emails I’ve seen …..

A well-argued court case.

The beauty of a language and the art of constructing the words of the
language significantly lead to their meaning. This is not a case of twisting but of the refined manner of presentation by witty minds.

A good case for reference.

One evening, after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were walking down
the avenue when they observed a rather well-dressed and attractive young
lady walking ahead of them.

One of the men turned to the other and remarked, “I’d give $250 to spend the
night with that woman.”

Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard their remark, turned around
and replied, “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his
companion good night, the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment.

The following morning, as he prepared to leave, the man gave her $125.

She demanded the rest of the money, stating, “If you don’t give me the other
$125 I’ll sue you for it.”

He laughed, saying “I’d like to see you get it on these grounds.”

Within a few days, he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit.

He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case. His lawyer
said, “She can’t possibly get a judgment against you on such grounds, but it
will be interesting to see how her case will be presented.”

After the usual preliminaries, the lady’s Lawyer addressed the court as
follows: “Your honor, my client, this lady, is the owner of a piece of
property, a garden spot, surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which
property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified length of time
for the sum of $250.

“The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purposes for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises, he paid only $125, one-half of the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is restricted property, and we ask that judgment be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance.”

The defendant’s lawyer was not only surprised but also impressed AND amused by the way his opponent had presented the case.

Naturally, his defence was somewhat different from the way he originally
planned to present it, but he rose to the occasion!

‘Your honor,” he said, “My client agrees that the lady has a fine piece of
property, that he did rent such property for a time, and a degree of
pleasure was derived from the transaction.

“However, my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump, all labour performed personally by him.

“We claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount, and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of said property. We, therefore, ask that judgment not be granted.”

The young lady’s lawyer answered, “Your honor, my client agrees that the
defendant did find a well on her property. However, had the defendant not
known that the well existed, he would never have rented the property. Also,
upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out
the shaft, and took the pump with him.

“In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making the property much less desirable to others. We, therefore, ask that judgment be granted.”

In the Judge’s decision, he provided for two options: “Pay the balance of
$125 to the plaintiff, or have the equipment detached from its current
location and provide it to the plaintiff for damages.”

The defendant wrote out a cheque immediately.

Thsi reminds me of Portia’s approach to justice. 

This entry was posted in Humor, Humour, Jokes, Videos by OyiaBrown. Bookmark the permalink.

About OyiaBrown

Please send me, as a comment to this page, any old material you have for inclusion in The Daily Joke Alert - to help enable us all to have our fancy tickled regularly! Never mind the state it's in as I tidy everything up prior to publication. Don't let good material go to waste - and so much does. In the interests of the environment we should always try to re-cycle everything, especially jokes. You know that makes sense! You may find some historical stuff here, but this does not really matter as humor is fairly timeless.

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