“What happened? You look terrible.”
What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.”
“What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
“Well,” said the pirate, “We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”
The bartender replied, “Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”
The pirate explained, “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I’m fine, really.”
“What about that eye patch?”
“Oh,” said the pirate, “One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over.
I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye.”
“You’re kidding,” said the bartender. “You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird shit.”
“It was my first day with the hook.”
With Muslims establishing their own schools, one wonders how their kids will acquire our values and be able to successfully integrate into our society..
This incident happened in London.
The Uncomfortable Definition of an Infidel….
FACT: Islam is the fastest growing religion in the UK
Last month I attended my annual training session for maintaining my security clearance in the prison service.
There was a presentation by three speakers from the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained their beliefs.
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say about the basics of Islam, complete with video.
After the presentations, question time. I directed my question to the Imam and asked: ‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a Holy War against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven.’
‘If that’s the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?’
There was no disagreement with my statement and, without hesitation he replied, ‘Non-believers!’
I responded, ‘So let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not a follower of Allah, so they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?’
The expression on his face changed from one of authority to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.
He sheepishly replied, ‘Yes.’
I then stated, ‘Well, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope Benedict commanding all Catholics to kill Muslims, or the Archbishop of Canterbury ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!’
The Imam was speechless!
I continued, ‘I also have a problem with being your ‘friend’ when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me! Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because He will take me to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?’
You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam remained speechless.
Needless to say, the organizers of the Diversification seminar were not happy with this way of exposing the truth about the Muslims’ beliefs.
Within twenty years, ie. 2031, there will be enough Muslim voters in the UK to elect a government of their choice, complete with Sharia law.
Everyone in the WORLD. should be required to read this, but with the current political paralysis, tolerant justice system, liberal media and P.C…madness, there is no way this will be widely publicised.
In a move that would be worth up to £1,000 a year each, the Office for Tax Simplification said that scrapping the levy should be considered because many pensioners considered it “unjust”.
The advisers, an independent body set up by the Chancellor, George Osborne, made the suggestion in a report that condemned “confusing”, over-complex tax rules facing people in retirement.
Almost 5.6 million people receiving the basic state pension pay income tax, HM Revenue and Customs estimates. Usually it is because private pension payments and savings interest take their total income above the tax threshold.
More than 1.5 million of them have to fill in a self-assessment form.
In a report to Treasury ministers, the advisers said that there was a “patchwork of allowances and rules which many in their later years find very confusing” and that taxing the basic state pension made the system significantly more complicated.
Just after the general election, over breakfast at St Pancras Station, I had an electrifying political conversation with Mark Oaten, the former Liberal Democrat MP and home affairs spokesman. It clarified my thinking and its details have stayed with me ever since.
Mr Oaten was the author of a rather important book, which analysed both the past British history of coalition government as well as the far more extensive contemporary experience in continental Europe and Ireland.
We were having breakfast because I wanted to ask him what lessons could be learnt from past experience that would help me understand the Conservative/Lib Dem administration, which had been formed just a few days before. First of all, said Mr Oaten, coalitions are always disastrous for the smaller party. It gets swallowed up, blamed for the failures and only rarely credited with the successes, and then not nearly enough.
In some cases, as with the hapless Progressive Democrats, who never recovered from their alliance with Fianna Fáil and were dissolved in the wake of the 2007 Irish general election, the smaller party vanishes from history. But always it suffers heavy losses.
Burhan Ghalioun, the head of the Syrian National Council, the main opposition group, said: “I hail the deputy (oil) minister who defected and I call on all government members and public servants … to abandon this regime and join the ranks of the revolution for freedom and dignity.
“I expect for sure that there are other government officials and politicians who will follow suit.”
Speaking in Cairo, he urged “the Syrian opposition to come together to work with us to find a solution that will respect the aspirations of the Syrian people.”
Mr Annan was in Cairo for talks with officials ahead of a trip to Damascus on Friday.
“We will do whatever we can to urge and press the cessation of hostilities and an end to the killing and violence,” he said ahead of talks with Foreign Minister Mohammed Amr.