Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns

Dear Walter, 

I hope you can help me here.  

The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.  

I walked back home to get my husband’s help.  

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor’s daughter. I am 41; my husband is 44, and the neighbor’s daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.  

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. 

I told him it had to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. 

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won’t go to counseling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him anymore.  

Can you please help?  

Sincerely,

Sheila

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 Dear Sheila, 

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.  

Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.  

If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.  

If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.  

I hope this helps, 

Walter

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Sex In The Shower – Statistics

In a recent survey carried out for a leading toiletries firm, people from Chicago, Illinois, have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower. 

In the survey, 62% of Chicago’s inner city residents said that they have had sex in the shower.  

The other 38% said they hadn’t been to prison yet.

When a seven year-old is branded a bigot

The word ‘Orwellian’ has become over-used to the point of cliche. Yet there is really no other way to describe the deeply sinister, upside-down onslaught upon common sense that has extended even into the school playgrounds of politically correct Britain.

The aim was originally to create a kinder, gentler world — with a commitment to eradicating racial or any other type of prejudice.

Supporters of these beliefs profess to loathe and detest bullying, with teachers instigating school playground patrols and ‘anti-bullying weeks’ to stamp out this hateful practice.

And yet, in pursuance of these aims, we have witnessed the rise of the widespread state-sponsored bullying of children.

The latest example was the experience of a seven-year-old boy from Hull, whose mother was astounded to be told by his primary school to sign a form admitting he was racist.

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Eurozone’s shocking prescription for Greece

Well there’s a surprise. A “strictly confidential” 10-page debt sustainability report commissioned for yesterday’s meeting of eurozone ministers concludes that the austerity measures being foisted on Greece as a quid pro quo for a second, €130bn bailout, are quite likely to prove self-defeating, in that the austerity, by further weakening the economy, may well cause the debt to GDP ratio to rise further.

Furthermore, the debt “haircut” being required of private investors may prevent Greece from ever returning to private markets for borrowing, making the country indefinitely reliant on official support. After the bailouts, so much of Greek’s debt will be held by official channels, all of who preferential treatment as creditors, that no private sector investor would go anywhere near it, knowing he’d be last in the creditor line

These points may have been obvious to everyone else for a long time now, but I guess final acknowledgement of these inconvenient truths must be seen as progress amid the grand delusion of eurozone policy-making.

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Workfare for the jobless is fair, but it needs a chance to work

Exploitative and despicable; a return to the Victorian workhouse; an example of modern-day slave labour: these are just a few of the insults currently being hurled at the Government’s workfare scheme. One newspaper columnist, in a spectacular example of reductio ad Hitler -um, even likened it to the sort of thing that went on in Nazi Germany. And what does workfare entail that warrants such opprobrium? It requires people on benefits to do something in exchange for the money rather than sitting idly at home. They work up to eight weeks for 30 hours a week in placements organised by employment centre managers, at the end of which they may be interviewed for a job. If jobseekers pull out after the first week they face having their benefits withdrawn.

Although the criticism is coming principally from Left-wing groups, the idea was pioneered by the Labour government and borrowed from America, where it was introduced by the Clinton administration 15 years ago. Until recently, it involved welfare recipients taking voluntary unpaid placements with public bodies or charities. But last year the scheme was extended to include private companies, and unemployed people are now being sent to supermarkets . And all of a sudden the roof has fallen in. How dare these highly profitable, multinational companies benefit from free labour? A Tesco store in Westminster was even picketed by protesters at the weekend for participating in the scheme.

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Why the Nicolas Sarkozy show ought to terrify David Cameron – and delight Ed Miliband

The Sarko Circus hits the road. Cheered by bussed-in supporters and hymned by rock music, the most unpopular French leader of modern times told his first major campaign rally that he was the only presidential candidate who could stave off ruin. Nicolas Sarkozy’s days as ringmaster may be numbered. No previous president has been so far behind in the polls and still gone on to win. With 67 per cent of voters against him, a turnaround would be akin to the starving protesters of 1789 deciding that Louis XVI was not such a bad egg after all.

Unlikely as such a volte-face may be, it would be rash to underestimate Sarkozy. Or so David Cameron will be hoping. Last week’s meeting of the two leaders was a stage-managed triumph for Sarkozy. Not only did he secure a deal under which nuclear plants in Britain, once a leader in technology, will chiefly benefit Areva, the French engineering company which will run the projects, and the giant EDF energy company. In addition, his love-in with Mr Cameron, whom he recently accused of missing “a good opportunity to shut up”, appeared to show him as an arch-conciliator.

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